A Catholic in California

Blessed

2012-01-27T09:46:00.000-08:00

I am a blessed person. I have a wonderful husband and beautiful children. I have a home, cars, and my husband has a job that allows me to stay home and care for everyone. Not a day goes by that I am not thankful for all the blessings God has given me. Would I say that God blessed me with chronic pain? No, I don't think I would go that far.

You see, I believe in a God who loves me. Similar to how I love my children. Would I want my children to have chronic pain? Heck NO! I would not wish chronic pain on my worst enemy and I certainly don't believe that God would wish it for any of his children. God does, however, allow my suffering. In the end, my suffering will benefit me, my family, my friends, and who knows who else. Much in the way that we sometimes need to let our children suffer for them to learn and grow, so God allows my suffering in order for me to learn and grow into the person he needs me to be.

I have certainly experienced many blessings as a result of my illnesses. I have made some incredible friends who suffer the same diseases I do. We commiserate and understand each other. I have a new appreciation for simple things. I don't take any kind of physical activity for granted. It is a red letter day when I can do housework without extreme pain. My illness has brought my family closer together. They are far more appreciative of me when I am able to do things, and my children are learning a compassion and caring that I don't think any other situation would have taught them. My children are all growing up to be great helpers and to understand how to be "gentle" when mommy doesn't feel good. Their understanding of caring for the sick certainly helped this last summer when we were all helping my friend Suzanne. I don't think they would have been half as understanding of all we needed to do if they hadn't already experienced so much of that at home. The more I type, the more I realize that I cannot possibly list all the blessing that have come from my chronic pain.

Even after all the blessings, I still pray every day for this to be taken from me. I never find myself saying, "Thanks God, for that excruciating pain in my hip today!" Instead, my comments run toward, "O.K. God, that was a really painful day. Can we not do that again tomorrow?" So far, the answer has been no. But, you never know if you don't ask. I will continue to ask. And if the answer continues to be no, I will carry on as best I can and be thankful for all the true blessing in my life.

"Jesus suffers to carry out the will of the Father. And you, who also want to carry out the most holy will of God, following the steps of the Master, can you complain if you meet suffering on your way?"
- St. Josemaria, The Way #213

A Pain Free 2012!

2012-01-02T17:23:00.000-08:00

Pain free? I can dream, right?

The past few months I have been dealing with my newest medical diagnosis - sacroilitis. After my doc did an MRI on my left hip (where I was having considerable pain) it was discovered that I have "extensive, permanent" damage to my sacroiliac joint. In layman's terms - I have an extreme pain in the ass. My rheumatologist referred me to pain management for treatment. They gave me an SI injection, a steroid injection straight into the SI joint. It was quite uncomfortable and in the end, didn't help enough to make me want to go through the procedure again.

So, here I am, back to being in pain. A pain that can't be fixed with any kind of treatment. It's one thing to have pain from an RA flare. With that, I know that eventually there will be a treatment that will relieve it, whether it is increasing my steroids or juggling my various medications. With this though, this is permanent. Talk about discouraging! Every day is ruled by my ability to deal with the pain. How much can I stand today? Sit? Bend? Drive? All of those things cause pain. Sometimes, laying down helps. Other times, it is when I lay down that the muscles decide to spasm and cramp. Sometimes heat or cold helps, other times it does nothing. The only thing that helps take the edge off? Pain meds.

Thank God for my medications. There are times when I get very stubborn and decide (much to my husband's chagrin) that I am not going to take my pain meds. Just to prove to myself that I can get through a day, or a night, without them. I always get through, just not pleasantly. The truth is, I need my pain medications. They don't completely relieve my pain, it is an ever present part of me. But, they take the edge off just enough for me to function. There are times when I want to weep with gratitude when the medication finally kicks in and I feel this overall peace and relief.

Does that make me an addict? I really don't care.

I am doing what I need to do to get through the next few minutes, the next hour, the entire day. I am doing what I need to do so that I can be the mother and wife that God has called me to be. I try so hard to keep a smile on my face, to walk without a limp, to hug my children without crying out in pain. I am not always successful at all of that, but with managing my pain in the only way I can, at least I know I am successful part of the time.

Surviving

2011-08-21T15:25:00.000-07:00

Surviving seems to be what I am doing best these days. I am taking every day as it comes, and doing my best to be what I need to be. Whether it is caretaker for a friend, housekeeper, laundress, dishwasher, babysitter, wife, mom, etc. I am wearing many hats. Fortunately, the hats seem to be fitting fairly well!
We have completed our first week back at school. I am now the mom of a fifth grader, a second grader, a kindergartener and a junior kindergartener. Yikes!

Everyone is loving their new teachers and even Vibiana isn't too upset about having to be at school without Sebastian. Sebastian, my kindergartener, is having a wonderful time. Every day this week, when I ask him how his day was, the response is always "Awesome!" So glad to hear it. This is Sebastian with his two best buddies, the three amigos.

As far as my health goes, I am... maintaining. I had a horrible RA flare a few months back and at that time it was discovered that I also have Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS). AS is essentially RA in the back/spine and is quite painful. Treatment is the same as RA, so my doc just upped my meds a bit and I was feeling great. I have spent all summer feeling better than ever. Then, my liver started misbehaving so we had to reduce one of my fairly crucial meds. I am now not feeling so hot, but manageable. Hopefully, after a few normal liver tests, I will be able to increase my meds to feel better again.

I am, thankfully, able to spend a lot of time with Suzanne during this period of recovery. She completed her whole brain radiation and we now have to wait until November to see if it reduced the tumors. In the meantime, she had a PET scan and got the best scan results she has ever had. No new or troublesome spots anywhere. Praise God! Please keep those prayers coming.

The next few weeks will be back to our "normal" busy. Darian is starting cross country, I think I may start Sophia in gymnastics, and I will be kept occupied with my duties as Kindergarten head room mom. It's going to be a great school year!!

I am so blessed

2011-07-16T16:08:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't posted in quite awhile now. I have no good excuse, and I will not muddy up this post for my pithy little reasons for laziness. I will save all that for another post.

Many of you know that my dear friend Suzanne has been successfully battling breast cancer for the last 18 months (you can follow her blog here). A few months ago, she had a flare up in her ribs and spine that was treated with radiation. Radiation was successful. However, recently, we have had a huge setback. Last week, an MRI revealed 15 tumors in her brain. She had been on a miracle trial drug, TDM1, but this advancement has kicked her off the trial. She is now on Decadron, Tykerb, and whole brain radiation. At the beginning of this new phase of treatment the doctor warned her that she was going to feel miserable, lose all her hair (which until now she had been able to keep), and not be able to care for her children for about 4 months. Within days, Suzanne began to really feel the effects.

From the moment we learned of her diagnosis, our community has banded together to offer any and all kids of help. One friend set up a website (on Mealtrain) to schedule meals. As of today, this family will have meals halfway through September. Suzanne has been inundated with calls, texts, and emails of well wishes, prayers, and many offerings of help. We are asking anyone and everyone to please pray for her. Jason has written a beautiful guide for a holy hour dedicated to Suzanne's healing. You can find it here. With school quickly approaching, we had one friend offer to do the school supply shopping. For 5 school age kids, that is no small task!

As for my own part in all of this, I have taken on the role of personal assistant. I am handling scheduling, driving when needed, and general help. I have been driving Suzanne to UCLA about once a week for a couple of months now for her treatments. Right now, I am with her far more often, and honestly, I couldn't be happier.

Sounds odd, doesn't it? Hanging out with my (potentially) terminally ill friend is a good time? In reality, it is. Not to say that it isn't difficult, especially seeing her with her children. Sometimes, it will suddenly blindside me that these beautiful children may not have their mother for much longer. But, then I look at the example that she is setting for all of us, and I am overwhelmed with a feeling of being so blessed. Blessed to be her friend, blessed to be able to help her and her family through this difficult time. I know she is concerned about me getting burned out, but I am truly so glad to be able to help her. As difficult as the situation is, Suzanne and her family bring me an incredible amount of joy.

And I'm not scared for her. Obviously, I am praying for a complete healing. But, there is also the harsh reality that she may not be with us by the end of the year. While it brings me grief, I know that the grief is for us here and her children, not for her. She is the most beautiful soul I know, and I have no doubts that she will be in eternal happiness and joy when she leaves this world.

Please forgive me if my posts are sparse over the next few months. God is calling me to be with Suzanne as much as possible, so that's where I will be.

Punishment? What about Love?

2011-04-22T08:01:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in quite a while. It isn't that the blog has been abandoned or because I gave it up for Lent, it's just that my Lent ended up being a tad more hectic that I had originally planned. Funny how that works. I had all sorts of plans for my own sacrifices and mortifications for Lent, but starting Ash Wednesday, God clearly laughed at my plans and set His own in motion.

My number one project/ministry has been helping a very good friend of mine who is in a highly abusive marriage. I won't give details, because some readers know her and she isn't quite ready to face the world with her problems yet. She is a wonderful, loving person and an incredible mother. However, she has spent so many years being told the opposite, that she has come to believe it. Like nearly all abusive relationships, she has been on this roller coaster of emotions - when things are great they are great, but when things are bad they are really bad. She has developed her method of coping, which has been to convince herself when things are good, that the bad wasn't really that bad. On Ash Wednesday she called me, in near hysterics, after they had a fight. The things that he said to her, the emotional abuse involved, finally convinced my friend that she needed to seek help. I had been encouraging her for months and months to see a good, Catholic counselor that I knew, and she finally called me for the information to set up her appointment.

From there, it has been an extremely painful, emotional process for both of us. The more details I learn (and I knew quite a bit before) the more horrified I am that someone could actually treat their wife and children so disgustingly. And still, she stays. Still, she questions if things are really that bad. Still, she claims to love him. There are some breaks in the armor, some scales falling from her eyes, but it is a slow and (for me) frustrating process. Here is a woman, so beautiful inside and out, so loving and caring, so willing to give everything that she has for her family and friends, and so horribly abused by the one person who should be willing to give her everything in return.

One of the statements she made to me recently, which just broke a piece of my heart, was that she felt that all these years, all this abuse, was God's punishment to her for some of her decisions and actions from before she was married. Her husband, of course, knows of these actions and continually throws them in her face during arguments, and sometimes just makes snide comments even when they are not arguing.

How can I get her to understand that God is not punishing her, that He loves her? It's such an ingrained, basic part of my faith, that GOD IS LOVE, that I have a hard time understanding anyone not understanding that. Especially today, on this Good Friday, when God gave us everything through his Son. All the love and forgiveness in the entire universe was given to us on this day. The greatest gift, the greatest sacrifice, all for us undeserving people. None of our mistakes matter, none of our past actions matter, because our Lord died on that cross for us. He loves us enough that he was tortured and killed for OUR mistakes. He loves each and every one of us so much so as to have given us everything he had, not only here on earth, but He continues to give us everything from his place in Heaven. All we have to do is trust in Him and He will provide for us. The provisions may not be what we thought we wanted, and they may come in unexpected packages, but through our Lord we are promised to be loved and provided for.

"You are full of weaknesses. Every day you see them more clearly. But don't let them frighten you. He well knows you can't yield more fruit.
Your involuntary falls - those of a child - show your Father God that he must take more care, and your Mother Mary that she must never let you go from her loving hand. Each day, as our Lord picks you up from the ground, take advantage of it, embrace him with all your strength and lay your wearied head on his open breast so that you'll be carried away by the beating of his most loving heart."
- St. Josemaria Escriva, The Way #884

Do you think my kids are a bit religious?

2011-03-23T18:16:00.000-07:00

This afternoon, Sebastian and Vibiana were organizing themselves for playing house. I hear discussion on Vibiana being the sister and Sebastian being the dad. Then, I hear Sebastian say that Ari (the dog) can be Jesus.

At first, I am more than a bit horrified that they felt the dog was a suitable Jesus.

Then I decided instead that it was pretty great that they felt the need to include Jesus in their pretend home.

Then I peek around the corner and see the dog passed out asleep. Sebastian says, "Ari will make a great statue!"

Obstinance

2011-03-16T10:41:00.000-07:00

"Only the stupid are obstinate: the very stupid are very obstinate."
- St. Josemaria, The Furrow #274

Though I have been doing my best not to be stupid, I fear that instead I have, in part, been very stupid.

I have been in the midst of one of my worst RA flares since early Saturday, although looking back, it probably really started around Ash Wednesday. On Saturday morning my pain was bad so I took some pain meds and, deciding this really was a flare, increased my dreaded prednisone. Then I felt a bit better and decided to do housework. I had been planning on getting this housework done all week, and finally I was home to do it so I was going to do it. I swept, mopped, and even vacuumed. Obviously, this was a mistake.

Sunday, I could not get out of bed with severe pain. I needed my cane to walk, and every step was exruciating. Jason had to go down to the Cathedral in LA and Darian had a birthday party to go to. I sent them on their way and stayed home with the three younger kids. Jason offered to stay home and my friend who was taking Darian to the party offered to take all the kids, but I refused both. Because, of course, I CAN DO IT!

By Sunday evening, everything hurts. Every part of my body aches, every joint is painful to move (and swollen) and the costochondritis makes it hard to breathe. My frustration is increasing with every moment - I had things I wanted to get done this weekend and I hadn't accomplished any of them! All I had been able to do was sit around. Jason came home with Darian and an admonishment from my friend that she WAS going to help me this week. So, with much difficulty, I gave in. I made arrangements for Jason to drop the school kids at her house early in the morning with plans for her to also take them home with her and then bring them to Jason at the evening mass. The little ones and I would stay home and take it easy. In my mind, I am thinking that by Monday afternoon, the prednisone would be working and I will be feeling better.

Long story short, today is Wednesday and I am still not feeling great. I am still using my cane, although each step doesn't bring the intense pain I was having. I am so resistant to asking for help, but, thankfully, help has been forced upon me. Jason took the week off of work to stay home with me and my friend Suzanne is helping with the school kids. I am always so stubborn about A) recognizing the beginnings of a flare and therefore starting meds soon enough, especially pain meds and B) asking for help. I always want to do it all. I get so frustrated at not being able to do simple things - laundry, dishes, make beds, cook meals. This flare has helped me realize that not only can I not do this alone, but I need to not hesitate to admit when my body is failing me. It will happen. It will continue to happen. Instead of cursing the disease, I need to change my reaction to the disease. The disease is what it is. It's my actions that will either make it a miserable experience or a fruitful one.

"When our vision is clouded, when our eyes have lost their clarity, we need to go to the light. And Jesus Christ has told us that he is the Light of the world and that he has come to heal the sick.
That is why your weaknesses and your falls - when God allows them - should not separate you from Christ, but rather draw you closer to him."
- St. Josemaria, The Forge #158

Feeling a bit tired?

2011-03-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

One of the most debilitating of my RA complications is fatigue. It can sometimes be very frustrating when most people don't understand what fatigue is and how it differs from simply feeling tired due to lack of sleep. One of my Facebook RA friends found this article and I strongly encourage everyone to read it.

Mastering the Impact of Fatigue

Brace yourself

2011-03-07T18:04:00.001-08:00

for another bout of my whining.

For the last few days, I have been having chest pain. Not quite like a heart attack (although I can't say for sure since I have never had a heart attack) but more like a "bone" pain in my sternum/rib area. It is mostly a dull ache, unless I sneeze, cough, or breathe deep, in which case it is a painful stabbing sensation. I have quite a few online "friends" from the Rheumatoid Arthritis groups who have had similar symptoms, so I reached out to them and tentatively self-diagnosed costochondritis - inflammation in the cartilage between the ribs and sternum.

Today, I spoke to my rheumatologist on the phone and he confirmed my diagnosis. The usual course of treatment is high doses of steroid (I am already on a low dose and hate it) and rest (haha!) but he agreed that I could just leave it untreated for the time being as long as the pain is tolerable and the symptoms don't get worse. At this point, it is uncomfortable, but I really really don't want to increase my prednisone (steroid). The prednisone tends to make me hungry for sweets (not good for Lent), upsets my stomach, and makes me really moody (yes, more moody than normal). I will go see my doc in two weeks and we will re-evaluate the situation then. If I haven't improved then he will put me on a high dose of the prednisone for a few weeks. I'm hoping it doesn't come to that.

In the meantime, I will be avoiding all strenuous activity and just relax. Yeah, right.

Epic Fail

2011-02-23T10:20:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have one of those days when, if your life were a movie, it would be some dark, comedic tragedy? And you look at the clock and realize it's only 10 am?

I won't bore you with details, but suffice it to say that this is one of those days when, just when I feel like things are going alright, something happens to completely derail everything. It doesn't even have to be one major thing, but little things that just keep accumulating can be just as dangerous. I am trying so hard to do the right thing, stay on the right path and be a good person, and then life happens and craps all over my good intentions.

So, on this beautiful, sunshiny day I have already had harsh words with someone, tried not to panic over a (mostly minor) financial crisis, and discovered Ari the wonder dog had managed to get himself into the bathroom and consume half a roll of toilet paper. I don't want to know what comes next.

I know that, in the grand scheme of things, these are minor blips on my road. I am going to take a few deep breaths, say a few heartfelt prayers, start fresh and enjoy this glorious day.

A puppy and the plague

2011-01-25T12:25:00.000-08:00

is what has been occupying the Schalow family this past week.

The flu is once again working its way through our family. Sophia started it, then Jason, then Sebastian, then Darian and Vibiana. We are now on the tail end of it, I hope. I didn't get sick, but we are not out of the woods yet. Darian and Vibiana are still running fevers and I am taking Darian in to the doctor this afternoon because I suspect his congestion has turned into a sinus infection.

And the puppy? A bundle of cuteness, that's for sure. Jason has wanted an English Mastiff for years now, and I finally caved. We picked up our little guy last Wednesday. He is now 12 weeks old, weighing in at about 15 lbs. Both of his parents are show dogs, with his dad (not yet full grown) weighing in at 160 lbs and his grandfather weighing in at 210 lbs. Our guy, Ari, will be enormous when he's done growing. He is very mellow and very sweet. Now we just have to work on house training him. With Vibiana potty trained I thought I was done cleaning up poop. Guess not.

San Gabriel Mission

2011-01-16T11:52:00.001-08:00

This year, Darian is in fourth grade. You know what that means for this California boy - Mission project!
This is a projects especially close to my heart since my family descends from California Indians. Our tribe is the Cahuillas, originally from the Hemet area, "transferred" to the San Gabriel Mission. My mom and some of her cousins have done a little research and have tracked down many family members born and baptized at the Mission, starting in the early/mid 1800's. Knowing this, Darian chose Mission San Gabriel for his project. So, yesterday, I drove all the kids down to the mission for some research.
First off, can I just say that driving to San Gabriel from the Antelope Valley with 4 excited kids in the car is an adventure all its own. But, we made it. Darian was really excited to go through the cemetery first, but that didn't last long since my two little ones decided to play leap frog with the flat headstones. Not exactly respectful, especially for the people who were there visiting their families. So off we went to the main part of the mission. We walked through the gardens, saw the old well, aqueduct and outdoor fire pits. They have a really nice little museum that I was not able to fully appreciate because Vibiana decided that was a perfect place to jump up and down (she liked the noise it made on the old wooden floors). There was a funeral taking place in the church itself, so we weren't able to go in yet. We went for some lunch, and when we came back we were able to go inside the church. I love the simplicity of the missions, but Darian loved all the ornate decoration up in the sanctuary, especially the huge sanctuary lamp. He was most impressed with the baptismal font - a beaten copper basin that has been in use since the late 1700's. His eyes were huge as he touched it and said, "Wow, Mom. Our ancestors were baptized right here."
As we were leaving, he grabbed a baggie that was in the car and ran back to the cemetery to grab a few handfuls of dirt - he wants to put official mission dirt on his project. It was a long drive, and a heck of a lot of walking around for me, but totally worth it to see his appreciation and excitement.

The cemetery entrance

One of a pair of plaques on either side of the arched cemetery entrance. The other is in Spanish.

This is one of a handful of hand carved tombstones. Pretty cool.

The walkway from the cemetery to the old Mission church

The front of the church. The man in front is from the mortuary and wouldn't let anyone in.

The kids in front of a replica of a hut that would have been lived in.

Because one child with medical issues isn't enough

2010-12-12T18:21:00.000-08:00

For the last couple of months Sophia has been struggling a bit in school. She has had a hard time paying attention and she has had a number of potty accidents. Her teacher suggested we take her to the doctor to get checked out.

Between my observations, the teacher's observations and a discussion with my sister in law, I asked the doctor to refer her to a neurologist. He did (immediately) and we went for our first visit with the pediatric neurologist this last Tuesday.

After taking a family history and talking about what has been going on with Sophia, the doctor was pretty sure she was having absence (pronounce ab-SOHNS) seizures. Basically, what happens is, Sophia zones out for between 5 and 10 seconds. There is no major shaking, no falling down, no passing out, just a kind of empty stare for a few seconds. She is oblivious to anything happening. Sometimes, she will have an accident during one of these episodes. It is "normal" for a child to have dozens and dozens of these a day.

While at the doctor's office, the doctor decided to try to induce a seizure. These types of seizures can be induced by hyperventilating. She brought in a pinwheel and told Sophia to just relax and try to keep the pinwheel turning. After a few seconds you could see Sophia start to get winded, and then her eyes floated down and twitched a little. The doctor spoke to Sophia and got no response. After about 10 seconds, you could see her re-engage. The doctor spoke to her again and Sophia responded as though nothing had happened. The doctor turned to me and said "That is a perfect example of an absence seizure."

She is scheduled for an EEG next Monday (the 20th). It should be interesting - she is not allowed to sleep for more than 5 hours the night before. The appointment isn't until 10am, so we will have to try to keep her up super late and then I will have to get up really early with her and keep her awake until her appointment.

She has started medicine (ethosuximide) that is a target specific medication. It will only help with absence seizures. If , for some reason, she starts to have other types of seizures we will have to change her medication. There is a possibility that these seizures can "escalate" to gran mal seizures, but it is fairly rare according to the neurologist. She may also grow out of it. We just have to wait and see.

As sad as I am about Sophia being diagnosed epileptic, at the same time it is a relief to have a definite diagnosis instead of just wondering why she was struggling so much. Please continue to pray for us. I could certainly use a break from all these medical issues!

Modern society invades my home

2010-11-30T10:35:00.001-08:00

My kids are leading a fairly sheltered life. We are very active in our Catholic church, the kids all attend Catholic schools and nearly all of their friends are Catholic. But, this past week, they made some new friends.

Last Monday, our neighbor's house caught fire. They have lived there for less than a year and, even though we know them well enough to say hello, we really don't know them well. That has now changed. When I saw the firetrucks, I immediately went over to check on them. They had an attic fire that started above their four year old son's room. It was a chilly morning and they were all huddled together in the front yard while the fire department did their job inside. I offered to take the kids (Christy, 7 and Ronnie, 4) to my house while the adults dealt with the aftermath. The kids gladly came with me and they got along great with my kids.

I am always careful of what my kids are exposed to when around new people, especially new kids. I am particular about what movies and T.V. shows my kids watch, what toys they play with, etc. Also, I tend to eavesdrop on their conversations because you never know what some kids are going to "teach" my kids.

So, here is a conversation I overheard between Christy and Sophia.

Christy : I have two dads and two brothers. One of my brothers is older than me and lives in Bishop so I don't see him much. You're lucky you get to see your brothers a lot. My cousin has three dads and two sisters but she never gets to see her sisters. Two of her dads lived with her at the same time and she used to call one of them uncle, but when her dad moved out she had to start calling her uncle dad. How many dads do you have?

Sophia : Umm. I think I just have one.

Christy : Only one? So how did you get so many brothers and a sister?

While trying to smother my laughter at the total befuddlement of both girls, I was also greatly saddened. For Christy, immersed in "modern" society, multiple fathers and random siblings is completely normal. Divorce, remarriage, half siblings, step siblings, all of these are everyday occurrences for most people. However, we are quite happy in our sheltered little world with one father, one mother, and regular siblings that you have to live with all the time.

My latest medical update

2010-11-17T21:09:00.000-08:00

I do my best not to focus on the pain and fatigue that my RA causes me. Some days are better than others, and right now it happens to be nearly impossible to ignore.

For many, many weeks I have been taking Prednisone in addition to my regular RA medication, Methotrexate. I hate taking Prednisone. It makes me moody, anxious, moody, hungry, and moody. Did I mention moody? Well, I have tried weaning off, but my pain and fatigue quickly return, so I am temporarily stuck with it. I visited my rheumatologist on Tuesday and, when he listed to all my current maladies, he suggested we switch up my meds. I have known this was coming (which is partly why I haven't been to see him in months) but I am at the point where I am definitely ready for something to change.

So, after a ton of blood work (9 vials!!) I will be starting Enbrel this next week. Enbrel is one of the newer, injection style treatments for RA. Many women in my RA support group are taking it and each one of them has had wonderful results from it. I will, for the time being, remain on the Prednisone and Methotrexate. The Enbrel will take 4-6 weeks to really start working and once it is working then I can start scaling back on the other meds, starting with the Prednisone. Once I am completely off the Prednisone we will try reducing the Methotrexate. I have at minimum a few months before we will now how the new meds are working, but I am hopeful that I will start to return to a more normal state. Well, normal for me at least.

Fall Luncheon

2010-11-12T09:05:00.001-08:00

I posted some pictures on Facebook, but I thought I would post a few here with some explanation on the Fall Luncheon for those unfamiliar.

Every year, Sacred Heart School hosts the annual Fall Luncheon. Every year there is an overall theme with each table doing a different take on that theme. There are twelve tables, each seating 40 people. Table hostesses are responsible for decorating their table, providing small gifts and raffles, and generally ensuring that your table guests have a good time.

This year's theme was Golden Jubilee since this was the 50th anniversary of the Luncheon. Our table decided on a 50th wedding anniversary as our theme. Other themes included Queen's Jubilee, King Midas, Golden Ticket (Willie Wonka), Pirate Treasure, the Oscars, Hollywood Walk of Fame, California the Golden State, etc.

For our table we were able to find parishoners who had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary, so we were able to honor them at our table. Our color scheme was white and gold and we were even able to get a wedding cake! The table, though a lot of hard work, turned out beautifully. The two most important parts - our guests were pleased and we were able to raise money for the school.

May God continue to bless Ernest and Maria Columna. They are truly an inspiration for us all.

Thank God for health insurance

2010-11-03T17:02:00.000-07:00

Today, I am celebrating the fact that I have great health insurance!

Today was Sebastian's first of many visits to the dermatologist. I really liked the doctor, despite the fact that he looks about 12 years old. He was great about taking the time to explain everything to me - not only the specifics about vitiligo, but also the many treatments available. He was quick to explain that there is no cure and, though there are many treatments, not every treatment works for everyone. The biggest concern is that this vitiligo is called "confetti" vitiligo, meaning that it doesn't have a regular pattern but is scattered all over the body. Confetti vitiligo can be very aggressive, but the doctor is fairly confidant that we will be able to slow/stop progression because we are catching and treating very early in it's development.

Step one is a non-steroidal topical immuno-suppresant. As I said before, his immune system is attacking the melanocytes, so the hope is that this topical will suppress his immune system only in those spots. If this doesn't work, we will then graduate to a steroid based immuno-suppresant. There are a number of these with different levels of steroids that we can try. If none of those are helpful, there is also treatment with UV lights. The doctor definitely doesn't want to think about that yet due to Sebastian's age. He doesn't recommend UV light therapy until at least 10 years old or if the vitiligo is really severe. So, we were given a prescription for his cream and an appointment in 6 weeks. The doctor made sure that I understood that if the spots increase or worsen before the 6 weeks we should get in sooner.

At the pharmacy counter, I was surprised to be charged $30 copay for this tube of ointment. Then I looked at the "actual cost" - $256!!! Holy cow!

So, today I am extremely thankful for Kaiser Permanente. I know that not everyone thinks highly of Kaiser, but I couldn't be happier. With Sebastian's first visit to the pediatrician, there was never a hesitation to run tests. On Friday, I emailed the doctor requesting a referral to dermatology because I was concerned about finding more spots. By Monday afternoon I had an appointment booked for Wednesday morning. All of this, on top of the prescription cost, makes me so relieved that we have the insurance coverage that we have.

I know that not everyone is as fortunate as we are, and I pray those who aren't able to receive the health care that they need.

Adding another chapter to the Schalow medical drama

2010-10-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

Over the summer, Sebastian developed a spot on his neck which, over the last few months, has lost all pigment. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a few more small white spots on his neck. I decided to take him in to the pediatrician and he took one look and said "Vitiligo."
Now, for anyone not familiar with this, it is a condition in which the immune system attacks and damages/kills melanocytes, causing depigmentation of skin. Hmmm, a retarded immune system, I wonder where he got that?
The good news is that, unlike some cases of vitiligo, Sebastian's doesn't seem to be related to any other auto-immune diseases. He had all kinds of blood work done and everything came back normal. There are some treatments available for vitiligo, but there is no cure. We are waiting on an appointment with the dermatologist and, until then, counting spots.

Influences

2010-10-07T11:53:00.000-07:00

We all have friends who influence us. Some are good influences, some are, well, hmmm.

I know that, for me, the more time I spend with someone, the more they influence me. With this thought in mind, have you prayed today? We all need to remember the importance of spending "quality time" with our Lord. The more time we spend with him, the more we allow him to influence our lives.

Here's another question for you - what do you talk about when you pray? We all have those friends who, at every opportunity, tell us everything that is wrong in their lives. Their world is always on the brink of disaster. They are rarely hopeful or joyful. Is that how we are talking to God? Are we always complaining, demanding, or sorrowful? Guess what - God wants to hear the good things, too! Obviously, we all have difficulties and we certainly need to share them with God (and our friends) but we also need to remember to find the joy in our lives and share that as well. What would happen to our spiritual life if prayer was only an opportunity to complain? Remember that having a good relationship with someone means sharing your sorrows AND your joys.

So, on this celebration of Our Lady of the Holy Rosary, pray with joy in your heart. Spend some time with our Lord and let Him influence you today.

(Thanks to Abbot Damien for inspiring this post.)

I am still here

2010-10-04T09:45:00.000-07:00

I am so embarrassed to realize it has been weeks since I last posted anything. Sorry! In my defense, it truly has been a crazy couple of weeks. I will give a quick synopsis.

First, Darian is running on the school cross country team. Since the end of August, this has involved practice after school twice a week and a race once a week. His last race will be this Thursday, so I am hoping for some of our craziness to die down a bit. He has LOVED doing this and, even though he is nowhere near the quickest boy on the team, he is hoping to continue running and be on the team again next year.

Another milestone for us has been my two youngest have both started preschool. Sebastian has been attending for over a year, but September 1st was the beginning of Vibiana's preschool career. She is loving it. They go two days a week, from 9:00 to 5:00. Vibiana adores her teacher and I can already see her maturing. She is speaking more clearly and in more complete sentences. Also, she is mostly potty trained. She has not had an accident at school, and at home she is improving. My biggest difficulty with the potty training is the amount of time we spend in the car - it is 1/2 hour to town and sometimes we get halfway there and she needs to go potty. Since there is nothing/nowhere to stop, I just put her in pull-ups when we are driving places.

Sophia is having some difficulties academically and we will be having her tested for dyslexia. She is having a hard time "flipping" numbers and letters and it has reached a point where her teacher is a little concerned. She is also having a hard time focusing. At this point, we need to find out exactly what is going on with her so that we can do what we need to do to help her. She is a great kid and I don't want her to either fall behind academically or start to feel like she is a failure. So, will see if extra work/help on our part is enough or if we need to contact an outside tutor.

On top of all the "kid" stuff, my RA has been giving me problems and Jason has been really busy and stressed at work. Diaconate formation is back in full swing and right now we are just trying to keep ahead of it all. Also, Jason was in a car accident and now our insurance has denied the claim. I won't go into all the horrid details, but we will be involved in fighting our insurance company.

Many days I think of this great quote from Mother Theresa : “I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.”

Yep. I really wouldn't mind if you eased up a bit, Lord.

I am untouchable

2010-09-14T20:57:00.000-07:00

At least to the "regular" orthopedic surgeon.
I have a ganglion cyst on my right wrist. I have had surgery previously to have this cyst removed, but it returned about 6 months ago. I have put off going to the doctor to have it looked at, but it is causing me enough discomfort at this point that I finally went in. The orthopedist ran some x-rays, took one look, and said "I am not touching your wrist. You need the hand specialist."
Apparently, not only is there scarring from the first surgery but there is "significant" joint damage from the RA and a regular orthopedic surgeon can't perform surgery.
So, on the down side, I have to see the specialist who only performs surgeries at the Kaiser in Panorama City. On the up side, further proof that I am special!

Lead Thou me on!

2010-09-07T17:42:00.000-07:00

On September 19, the Catholic Church will celebrate the beatification of Cardinal John Henry Newman. If you're like me, his name is certainly familiar but I don't know nearly as much as I could (or should). We will be hearing much about him over the next few weeks, even in secular media, and now is a great opportunity to educate ourselves about his work.

First, I recommend visiting www.newmanbiography.com. This is a website dedicated to two new books about Cardinal Newman.

The first book, out now and available here on Amazon, is titled "Take Five: Meditations with John Henry Newman" and authored by Mike Aquilina and Fr. Juan Velez. This is a great book focusing on short, five minute meditations. I guarantee that each and every one of us, regardless of how busy we are, can spare five minutes a day on our spiritual nourishment.

The second book, forthcoming, is a biography "John Henry Newman: Passion for Truth" written by Fr. Juan Velez. This book will lead us through Cardinal Newman's "search for religious truth", covering his journey of conversion from Evangelical Protestantism to Anglicanism to Roman Catholicism.

I urge you all to take a look at the website and the books.

Some final words, written by John Henry Newman, written at sea on a return to England:

LEAD, Kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom
Lead Thou me on!
The night is dark, and I am far from home—
Lead Thou me on!
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene—one step enough for me.

More, more, more

2010-08-31T09:17:00.000-07:00

In an experience common with many parents, yesterday I couldn't do enough for my kids. I didn't pack enough lunch, didn't bring the right snack, didn't fix the right dinner and was too mean to let them stay up late enough. When I finally got them off to bed, it was with a great sigh of relief that the day was done. Looking back on my day, I know I did my best but my kids just wanted more, more, and more. How often do we have this same attitude with God? He gives us so much and many of us are still so unsatisfied with what we get.

When I was little I loved trips to the grocery store when my mom would give me a quarter to put in the red prize machine. In went my quarter, a turn of the knob, and out came a random prize. Sometimes it was just what I wanted and other times I would be so disappointed with what I got that I would go back and hound my mom to give me another quarter to try again. She never gave me another quarter. Instead, she would always tell me to be happy that I got anything.

Last November a very close friend of mine was diagnosed with stage IV metastatic breast cancer. Her cancer was extremely aggressive and by the time they found it, it had already spread to her bones and liver. Our entire church and school community united in prayer. Through God's grace, she was able to participate in a clinical trial at UCLA for a new breast cancer wonder drug. Today, the large tumor in her breast is gone, no surgery is needed, and there is no trace of active cancer. However, she will never be declared NED (no evidence of disease) because of scarring on her skeleton. Potentially, this cancerous "scarring" can reactivate and require her to undergo more traditional chemotherapy. But, when she was first diagnosed, we never imagined that she would be as healthy and happy as she is today. Even though some may think we didn't get a complete miracle (declared NED) she is nonetheless truly a walking miracle. Whether she lives 38 more years, ten more years, or one more year, I can thank God everyday that she is here today. God did answer our prayers and we need to remember that.

We often treat God like a great big prize machine. I am going to put in x number of prayers and I expect to get the perfect prize. But, just like those grocery store machines, God doesn't always give us exactly what we want. Because, like a parent with their child, God know what we need better than we do. Our children may want ice cream for dinner, but we know they need something more substantial. And we, like our children, may throw tantrums and get angry for not getting exactly what we want. Today, instead of harping on what we don't have, let's all take some time to thank God for everything we do have.

Marriage and vocations

2010-08-29T16:10:00.001-07:00

Remember how I can't say no? A few weeks ago our pastor asked Jason and I if we would be willing to give a talk at a retreat he was leading the last weekend of August. He asked us to speak about marriage and vocations. We agreed and, of course, didn't think about it again until last week. In typical Briana/Jason fashion, we were up late last night finishing up our talk scheduled for this morning. Fortunately, I think it went pretty well. I am not as comfortable a public speaker as Jason is, but overall I think we did a pretty good job. I don't have a copy of Jason's talk because he tends to just work off of a simple outline, but I decided to post my written copy of the talks I gave. Our talk started with "Revolutionary Love" by David Crowder Band. Jason did some introductory comments about the commitment we make in the sacrament of marriage. Then I did my first talk on Jason's vocation and its effect on us. Then Jason talked about dealing with my RA as a couple and as a family. Then, I talked about our role in the vocational formation of our children. Then, Jason finished up with some closing comments and "Love Song" by Third Day.

My Talk #1

When we accept God’s call to be a husband or wife, we not only accept responsibility for making our own walk with God, but for supporting another person in theirs – in accepting that responsibility and trusting in God, we allow God to transform both of us.

On top of being married with four children, Jason is in his 3^rd year of formation to be a deacon in the Archdiocese of Los Angeles. When Jason first told me that he was being called to the diaconate, I was his biggest supporter. I encouraged him because I also felt that he was being called to this ministry. As we went through the application process and the various interviews, I began to truly realize the commitment that I was making. I was concerned – here we were with four very young children starting on this intense five year journey. Five years of two full Saturdays a month, numerous books to read and papers to write. From the beginning it was made clear to me that the wife is expected to travel side by side with her husband, participating in each class and every project. I have many people not understand why I have to do all of this with him – after all he is going to be a deacon, not me. But, even though I am not called to the diaconate, through my vocation of marriage I AM called to be a deacon’s wife. In every interview, they asked us again and again if we thought we could handle it. We always said yes and I would go home and pray and pray “Lord, are you sure we can make this work?” Always the answer I got was “yes.” We put our trust in God, and with God’s help we cleared every hurdle.

Now, three years into the journey, I am beginning to reap the rewards of that trust I put in God. I have learned more about scripture than 11 years of CCD ever taught me. I have a new confidence in my faith and confidence in my ability to minister to others. I always have people ask me “You have four kids, you volunteer at school and church AND you are in diaconate formation with your husband? How do you do it all?” My answer is almost always, “I don’t know how it all gets done. It must be through the grace of God because I certainly couldn’t do it on my own!”

In supporting Jason on his path, I have gained a new appreciation for my Church. Our faith as a couple has increased and strengthened and provided us with a strong basis to withstand whatever trials will come our way.

My Talk #2

I don’t think any marriage or vocation talk would be complete without talking about children. I have some friends who want all of their children to be priests or nuns. I have other friends who want all of their children to get married so they can have lots of grandchildren. But I think instead of either of those mentalities, we should instead wonder what it is that God has in store for our children. What path does He want them to follow and how can I help my kids to open their hearts and have the strength to follow God’s will?

When my oldest son was in preschool his teacher was showing him how to type and print out a letter on the computer. What Darian typed was “When I grow up I want to be a priest at the abbey.” A few years later, in first grade, each child was given a paper with the words “When I grow up” across the top and they were supposed to draw a picture of what they wanted to be. These were hanging up on the wall at back to school night to surprise all the parents. Amidst all the firemen, policemen and astronauts is Darian’s picture of the sanctuary of Sacred Heart Church with the words “I want to be a priest” underneath. One evening, not long ago, we were discussing with our kids the idea of vocations and what God might be calling them to do. Darian, very definitely said he would be a priest. Sophia, our six year old, said maybe a doctor and a mommy. Sebastian, the four year old, thought for a second and then said “I want to be a ninja.” Every single person has a different vocation in life, and part of our job as parents is to help our children, even at an early age, learn to listen to what God wants from them.

Twice a month, I take my two youngest kids to a local convalescent home. When we were first invited, I was a little nervous as to how my 3 year old and 2 year old kids would react. The plan was to visit and pray a rosary. My kids ended up loving it and they now anxiously await the next time we visit the “Grandmas and Grandpas.” After one of our visits, Darian asked Sebastian if he had fun visiting grandmas and grandpas. Sebastian said “Yeah, it’s fun making people happy.” It’s a beautiful thing to see this little boy learning the joy of ministering to others. Through experiences like this I hope he learns to keep his heart open and listen to God’s call, even if it means not being a ninja.

Hair today, gone tomorrow

2010-08-21T09:46:00.000-07:00

Another lovely side effect of my RA meds is hair loss. I recently started experiencing this and its starting to really concern me. I'm trying not be vain about the whole thing, but maybe I'm not really succeeding. I have contacted my RA support groups and have pretty unanimously heard that although some vitamin supplements can help slow the loss, nothing short of stopping meds altogether stops the hair loss. And, those who have stopped meds haven't had much luck re-growing lost hair. Some medications are worse than others (mine being top of the list, of course) so changing meds might be an option. I'm trying not to freak out too much, but really...

this is one morning's worth. Not brushing my hair, just running my fingers through it. So, even though it isn't time for wig shopping just yet, I am seriously debating cutting it all off to see if that helps me not be so weird about the whole thing. I have it longer than I have had it since early high school, so cutting it would be a bit traumatic. Vanity, oh vanity...

My new favorite person

2010-08-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

is Darian's new fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Gaharan. My boy is so excited about this year! His first comment was "It's going to be a lot if work but I think my teacher is going to make it really fun." He has homework, but part of his homework is to give each family member a hug. Darian told me Mrs. Gaharan has a different "attitude" about almost everything. Last year when he brought home all of his books that needed to be covered, it was with specific instructions that parents had to do it. This year, Darian said his teacher told him that a parent could help, but it is his responsibility. She is encouraging them to do things on their own as opposed to last year when parents were made too responsible for their kids work. I am already feeling relieved!
Sophia also had a great first day. She is much less verbose about the whole thing. She said "First grade is fun and my teacher is beautiful! "
I think this will be a good year for both my Sacred Heart kids!

Procrastination

2010-08-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

My two older kids are starting school on Wednesday. At the end of June, we sorted through all of their school uniforms and put them away for the summer. This morning (yes, less than two days before the start of school) we got out the bins with their uniforms to take an inventory of what still fits. Fortunately, Sophia is set. We had enough hand me downs from other families at the end of last year that she has enough shirts/pants/jumpers/skorts to last probably the entire year. Darian, however is a different matter entirely.

Toward the end of the last school year (probably May) I had to buy Darian new shorts and a pair of pants. I took him in to try things on and we found size 8 was just roomy enough it would get us through the beginning of this year. We were wrong! After doing inventory and making him try on numerous shorts and pants, we discovered he has ONE pair of pants that fit. No shorts. And school starts day after tomorrow. I will probably be spending some time driving around to Walmart and Target trying to find something in his size. I am seriously wishing I had done my inventory a few weeks ago. But, knowing me, I will probably make the same mistake again next year.

Harsh dose of reality

2010-08-14T15:32:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I was informed of a woman on our RA support group who had become unintentionally pregnant. She had been using an IUC as birth control. She was also on the same medication as I am, methotrexate. All of us on this medication have been told by our doctors and pharmacists how dangerous to a fetus this medication can be. Understandably, this woman was very concerned about her pregnancy - not only how the medication would effect the baby, but how was her RA going to be during a pregnancy. The support group reassured her as far as RA during pregnancy - many women had experienced remission during pregnancy with the RA not returning until after delivery. However, no one had personal experience with a pregnancy that was exposed to the medication.

This morning, she contacted us to let us know that she lost the baby. She went to her doctor for an ultrasound and they discovered that not only did the baby have no heartbeat, but many of the limbs were malformed as well as an absence of a brain. Our entire support community is grieving over this right now. It brings home to us all the harshness of this medication we have to take in order to control our disease. Please pray for this mom and her family.

Yet another "cure" for RA

2010-08-08T21:08:00.000-07:00

Today, I am laying around being very achy. I am disappointed because Jason and I were supposed to go down to Redondo Beach and visit with our diaconate class, but with my joints being in this state, the drive was simply not an option. This is just one of those things that comes with having RA. There are good days and not so good days. So, on this not so good day, I was catching up with my online RA support group and discovered a link someone posted to a book titled "The Bible Cure for Autoimmune Diseases". The summary states that "Autoimmune diseases such as rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, chronic fatigue syndrome and multiple sclerosis do not have to rob you of the vital health God intended for you to enjoy."

My initial reaction - HA! Many of us with these chronic diseases have heard so many various "cures." Various diets, exercises and nutritional supplements that have "cured" someone's brother/sister/cousin/neighbor. I looked over the information on the book and was mildly disgusted with the approach - a daily bible verse, along with nutritional supplements sold by the author, and viola! Cured!

As I read more into this book though, I became more and more angry. This "doctor" claims that people with autoimmune diseases simply need to watch their diet (and stick to his nutritional supplements) and dedicate their lives to God and God will cure them. He goes on to "inform" the reader that all diseases are a result of our own sinfulness and only when we can give up our sins and turn to God will we be healed of our useless suffering.

If I had encountered this man today, I would have beaten him with my cane. This disgusting mentality is what not only gives Christians a bad reputation, but discounts the true healing power of God. Can God heal me? YES! Will He? I don't know. For whatever reason, God has allowed me to have this disease. Maybe someday I will understand why. In the meantime yes, I suffer, but certainly not uselessly. The meaning of suffering, well, that is a post for another time. For today, I will continue to take my medications, do my best to exercise and be healthy, and always continue to pray. God has given me this cross and although I may not like it, I will continue to carry it.

And may God help the author if I ever run into him, especially on a day when I am using my cane.

Where in the world has summer gone?

2010-08-05T15:02:00.001-07:00

I am sad to announce that I have completed all the school supply shopping. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad the job is done, but I am amazed that it had to be done already. I am not ready for school to start! I am not ready to go back to waking up early, fixing lunches, driving back and forth to town twice a day and dealing with homework.

Added to that, when Sebastian returns to preschool in the fall, he will be taking his baby sister with him. On the one hand, I am excited to have all my kids in school (at least two days a week) but it is bittersweet - my baby is big enough to go to preschool!

I am not sure what I am going to do with all my new free time - I am sure between school and church I will be able to fill the hours. And, of course, I will have plenty of time to start blogging more...

Book Review

2010-07-19T12:43:00.000-07:00

While I read nearly constantly, I rarely feel the need to post a review of what I am reading. This is mostly because I read a bunch of bad "girly" fiction. This last week has been the exception. I just finished "Tattoos on the Heart: The Power of Boundless Compassion" by Fr. Greg Boyle.

For those of you not familiar with Fr. Greg, he is the founder of Homeboy Industries in Los Angeles, an organization that helps gang members to reform their lives. He has a pretty incredible personal story and his work with Homeboy is phenomenal. I have heard many of his stories via Jason (Fr. G says mass once a month at the probation camp that Jason helps at) and his stories are often funny and always touching. This book is a compilation of his experiences over the last 20+ years working with gang members. This is one of those rare books that had me laughing, even as tears ran down my face. Fr. Greg helped me remember that even though the men and women that he works with may seem a world away from me, we are all children of the same God, one who loves us all, despite our mistakes.

Please, please, please, buy his book! It is available on Amazon and Kindle.

Battling RA

2010-07-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

A little over two years ago, I was diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis. I was fortunate that I was in the early stages when diagnosed, so hopefully management with medication will help to slow the disease. However, it is a disease for which there is no cure. This is a disease that I will have to live with for the rest of my life. This is a disease that is often misunderstood - I often wish it came with purple spots so that people would know that I was sick instead of just thinking I'm lazy. My friends at RA Chicks posted this beautiful video on battling RA that I wanted to share.

Is it possible for me to say no?

2010-07-11T20:06:00.000-07:00

All evidence shows that no, I can't say no.

A couple of months ago, I discovered an RA (rheumatoid arthritis) page on Facebook. I "liked" it, and began commenting and conversing with other women with RA. I got to be fairly good "friends" with the founder of this page. Her fiance set up a website (separate from Facebook) and I helped her with a few suggestions for moderation - some people were leaving inappropriate comments and starting some nasty arguments. The main Facebook page has grown to over 4500 members and a secondary page about a medication that we take has about 400 members. Niki has become increasingly overwhelmed with it all and asked if I would be willing to co-admin one of the pages with her. Since I obviously don't have enough to do, I agreed. Ugh.

So, I get to kick people off who are being stupid (because NONE of us want to hear about how exercise is going to cure our RA) and start conversations about the things that concern us - how different meds work, all our different aches and pains, and mostly help create a place for us women suffering with this hateful disease to come together and commiserate. This should be fun, right? Certainly it is a project worth my time, even the little time that I have.

No, this blog has not been abandoned

2010-07-09T15:13:00.000-07:00

I was a little embarrassed to hop on here today and realize it has been weeks since I last posted. Oops! So no, the blog is not abandoned, the author's time is simply being devoured by the summertime antics of four kids.

Don't misunderstand. We aren't busy with fun, exciting things. We have made a few trips to the orthodontist (with more to come), a few trips to the pediatrician (conjunctivitis), playing in the sprinklers nearly every afternoon (the kids, not me), lots of T.V. watching, video game playing and tons of reading (at least for me and Darian). Of course there is also the near constant arguing, whining, tattle-telling, and crying. Typical summertime! I will have some relief this month since the 3 oldest will be attending summer camp with the Carmelite sisters. Thank God!!! I am certainly ready for a break. As soon as my mind is able to function a little better I will resume more frequent postings. In the meantime, don't forget to check both of Jason's blogs. That's right. My overachieving husband has two blogs, here and here. He is maintaining two blogs, working on his Master's degree and working a gazillion hours a week. I stay at home with the kids, read crap novels and can't even maintain my one blog. I post on Facebook fairly often though - does that count?

Another step into the world of orthodontia

2010-06-22T17:13:00.000-07:00

Sophia's beautiful smile is about to get a bit of a tweak!

My sweet girl has a few orthodontic issues that we have begun correcting. First, and most importantly, she has a cross bite. It's kind of hard to tell in the picture, but her lower jaw is shifting to the right and beginning to cause problems. Today, we picked up her "spider" retainer that she will wear for the next year. This retainer has a key that we turn once a week that will slightly expand the retainer and in turn slowly expand her palate. She is pretty excited because they let her pick a purple sparkle retainer with a pink case. Of course, now that she has had it in all day and her mouth is sore she is not quite so excited about it.

After this first year, she will then be fitted with a "coffin" appliance, identical to Darian's. This appliance will also expand her palate, but in order to help with crowding instead of the cross bite. My kids seem to be cursed with huge teeth and little mouths. She will probably have that appliance for another 1-2 years (bringing us to about 8 or 9 years old) and at that point they will probably put braces on her for a year or so to help with the crowding.

Fortunately, we have excellent insurance and our orthodontist spreads out payments for our portion over the next year, so it actually isn't too painful financially. Of course, they are more than willing to work with us because we have two more future patients. Oh, and Darian just broke his appliance so we have to go in and get that replaced and that will be 100% on us. At this point, it's almost embarrassing how well the staff is getting to know us.

Twelve years is a loooong time

2010-06-07T14:07:00.001-07:00

This past weekend, Jason and I celebrated our 12th anniversary. Since we had class on Saturday, we stayed fairly close to home and spent the weekend in the Arcadia/San Marino area visiting the Huntington Library.
If you have never had the opportunity to visit the Huntington, I highly recommend it. When I was a girl, my Grandma Rose loved going to the Huntington to visit the gardens and the Gainsborough paintings. Some of my best memories of my grandparents are of walking through the gardens. Jason and I had a wonderful time and hopefully we will have a chance to take all the kids one day soon.

Walkway to the English Tea Room

Path to the Rose Garden

One of the oldest roses - planted in 1940

I loved the way these grew in bunches

The Japanese Garden

Bonsai

The Chinese Garden and Tea House

Bamboo Forest

I loved the purple color of these succulents.

Cacti Garden

Colorful Blooms

An incredible ministry

2010-05-28T09:00:00.000-07:00

When I was a young girl, my parents, for a short period of time, were involved in being EM's to the sick. Twice they were called upon to bring communion to a convalescent home. I vaguely remember the smell and the discomfort of strange, gnarled hands reaching out for me (I was about 7). What I remember most, however, is the pure joy on some of the faces we visited. They were so happy to get some attention, especially from my younger brother and I. It was with that experience in mind that I (and my two youngest) became involved in visiting one of our local convalescent homes with my friend Carmen.

A few quick words on the facility we visit - this is a very clean facility. It also has numerous, attentive staff. They have a full schedule of social activities on top of all the physical therapies and exercise available. With all that in mind, this is also a "last stop" kind of facility. Most of these people will never leave. Those who are able to leave their beds are all in wheelchairs, many of them not coherent enough to participate in much of anything. Some have family that visit, but many do not. The caregivers do their best but it is kind of a sad place.

We have been visiting twice a month for about 9 months now. I have mentioned before the comfort and joy our simple visits can bring. We visit, say a rosary, and pray with them. We have asked a number of times if they would like for us to bring communion, but they always refuse ("they" being the 2-3 "regulars" we have). About a month ago, we were asked to bring communion to a resident. When we arrived, we learned that she had moved to the hospital. We decided to do our "usual" prayer service and then ask if anyone wanted to receive the communion we brought with us (only 1 host). Well, of course, Jesus drew quite the crowd for us. We had the largest group yet and we had 5 people who wanted to receive. We did our best to fracture our 1 host so that everyone could receive. It was a wonderful experience.

For our May visits, we were asked to cancel our visit at the beginning of the month and just come at the end of the month. We decided instead of a regular visit, we would arrange for a mass. So yesterday morning we arrived - myself, Sebastian and Vibiana, Carmen, Angela (a new RCIA graduate) and Fr. Richie. We walked into the activity room to find nearly 20 residents present - definitely the largest group we have ever drawn. Throughout the course of the mass we had no less than 5 people in tears. At the sign of peace I spoke with Theresa, one of our regular attendants. She was sobbing and said to me, "I haven't been to mass in four years. I had forgotten everything I was missing!" Another woman, with tears running down her face, told Carmen, "I'm not sad. I can't stop crying because I'm so happy." One gentleman, when we asked if he was Catholic, said "No, I just felt like being here to praise God."

A few hours later, when we were picking up Darian and Sophia from school, Darian asked Sebastian if he had fun visiting the "Grandmas and Grandpas." Sebastian said, "Yeah. It's fun making people happy."

Son, I couldn't agree more.

Mom my ride

2010-05-21T10:10:00.000-07:00

I was cleaning out the car this morning and came upon a petrified something - apple? banana?

I was inspired to post this hilarious video for those who have never seen it. Enjoy

Small Successes

2010-05-20T09:34:00.000-07:00

Though I always enjoy Faith and Family's "Small Successes", I have never posted my own. However, this has been a long week of not feeling well (fatigue and aches thanks to my arthritis) and therefore feeling very UNsuccessful so I decided I was in need of at least a small pat on the back.

1. I mopped the kitchen floor! Even when I feel good this is a difficult task so I was especially happy with doing this.

2. Helped Darian, my third grader, with his Benjamin Franklin project. He had to write a paper and have props and a display for his presentation. I was able to help without taking it over - yay!

3. Counseled an old friend. This friend and I have grown apart due to very different lifestyles but she contacted me this last week to talk about a new journey/battle she is embarking upon. Hopefully, I helped her.

Springtime

2010-05-07T17:02:00.001-07:00

To our great delight, we discovered baby birds this afternoon (much better than my friend Robin, who discovered baby kittens.) As far as we can tell, there are three of these fuzzy little guys perched atop a pillar on our front porch. I am sure that in the next few weeks I will tire of the noise and poop, but for now it is pretty cool.

This is mama, being very wary of the crazy person in the window pointing something at her babies.

And, just an unexpected bonus. As I was standing on some furniture peering out the front window, one of our many "hummybirds" stopped by for a snack. I love spring!!

Unexpected beauty

2010-04-28T17:14:00.000-07:00

Beautiful, isn't it? This is a microscopic picture of my nemesis and my savior. Methotrexate.

Methotrexate, my medication for my rheumatoid arthritis, is my enemy in so many ways. When I first began taking it, I took it one night a week. I always knew that the next day I would spend feeling miserable - achy, nauseous, mildly disoriented, tired, and just generally bad. As long as I am on this medication I cannot have more children. In the last few months, it has started to effect my liver. But, in many ways, it is also my wonder drug.

Before being on methotrexate, I awoke each morning with pain. My fatigue was often nearly disabling. I couldn't clean my house or do my laundry. Driving my van caused me pain in my elbows, wrists and shoulders. Trying to buckle all the kids into their car seats? I shudder at the memory. Now, I can (mostly) do all these things. I am not pain free, but I am so much better off than I was. I am so grateful for this medication. It is not perfect, but with it I am better than I could be.

Happy Birthday Sebastian

2010-04-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

A very happy birthday to my littlest man. You are a continual blessing and a joy to me. Always ready for a snuggle, a hug, a kiss. You have a wonderful, quirky sense of humor. I love that your current favorite "curse" is "Darnit Pickles!" You are one of our family's greatest gifts and I love you all the way to the moon... and back.

Mush

2010-04-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

As I have talked about before, the kids and I often listen to audiobooks during our drives back and forth all over town. This week, we have been listening to Jack London's The Call of the Wild.

This morning, my two youngest were outside playing when I began to hear yelling and giggling. I stepped out to investigate and I was really disappointed I didn't have my camera handy. This is what I saw - Vibiana sitting in the wagon, holding one end of a rope in her hand. The other end of the rope was wrapped around Sebastian's waist as he stood in front of the wagon. Sebastian looks at me and says, "I'm Buck!" Vibiana is yelling, "Mush, Mush!"

I am so glad to see they really understood the heart of the book. I think we will save the story of Joan of Arc for later - I don't want to think about them acting that one out!

Sometimes, God knocks softly on your door

2010-04-13T10:23:00.001-07:00

And other times He whacks you with a 2x4.

Over the past few weeks I have been self-evaluating my progress with my work. No, I did not run out and get a "real" job, I am referring to my work as a stay at home mom. I have a number of responsibilities, and I am fairly successful with most, but my major downfall is housework.

Now, I can give plenty of justifications and excuses as to why this is so - namely my rheumatoid arthritis. But, I am not looking for excuses. Rather, I am trying to change my thinking and habits so that housework will not be such a burden. The truth is, physically, my RA is not so advanced that I cannot accomplish simple housework. My problem is that I let it go until it seems so overwhelming that I just feel discouraged. However, over the last few weeks, I have made great advances. I have dusted, wiped, rearranged, de-cluttered, and vacuumed (I even vacuumed the ceiling to get rid of cobwebs!) Both of the kids' rooms are cleaned and vacuumed. We are all doing a pretty good job of maintenance. Of course, part of the major cleaning of the kids' rooms was laundry. I have loads and loads of laundry yet to do, and more gets added to the pile every day. For me, laundry is my least favorite chore - it is frustrating because it never ends, I will never be caught up, and I will never be done.

This morning, as I was gathering a load to stick in the wash and leering at the ever expanding pile, I was reminded of a quote from St. Josemaria, something about the perseverance of the donkey that turns the waterwheel. I was annoyed because I couldn't remember the full quote, so I grabbed my copy of The Way and found the section on perseverance. The first one my eyes fell upon -" #989 Come, now! After saying so often, "The cross, Lord, the cross," it is obvious you wanted a cross to your own taste." I burst out laughing. Talk about being put in my place!

BTW - I did find the original quote I was looking for - " #998 O blessed perseverance of the donkey that turns the waterwheel! Always the same pace. Always around the same circle. One day after another, everyday the same. Without that, there would be no ripeness in the fruit, nor blossom in the orchard, nor scent of flowers in the garden. Carry this thought to your interior life."

Poppies

2010-04-11T10:29:00.000-07:00

On Friday, I took the kids for our annual trek out to the Poppy fields in Lancaster. We all had a great time. The weather was beautiful and the view was spectacular. I absolutely love the desert this time of year!

Not our usual Easter celebration

2010-04-06T17:28:00.000-07:00

Well, Jason and I certainly had one of the most eventful Holy Weeks yet, and I sincerely hope we never repeat it.

On Monday of Holy Week, Jason went in for his colonoscopy. The doctor removed a few benign polyps and told us everything looked fine. On Wednesday afternoon Jason started having bleeding. He contacted (via email) his doctor who told him that if the bleeding happened again to go in to urgent care. So, Holy Thursday morning, Jason experienced more bleeding and left work to go in to urgent care. He was examined and blood work was done. The doctors decided he was o.k., just experiencing bleeding from the polypectomy. He was told that if he was still experiencing bleeding in two days to go to the emergency room.

Good Friday arrives and Jason is still not feeling well, but he goes to work and we meet at church for the evening service. Late that evening, just before midnight, we decide to head off to bed. I get in bed and Jason gets in the shower. Just as I am drifting off to sleep, I hear a crash in the bathroom. I jump out of bed, calling out to him and getting no response. I open the bathroom door to find him unconscious on the bathroom floor, shower running, blood all over the tub and shower. I tried to rouse him and was unsuccessful. After about 30 seconds, he came around, very confused, and tried to get up. He laid in the bottom of the shower while I called 911.

The fire department and paramedics arrived within minutes. I called a friend's mom to come stay with my kids and off we went in the ambulance to the hospital. We arrived in the ER at 12:45 am. He was finally given a bed in the ER around 1:45 am. I have many comments to make on my disgust with the hospital and health care system here, but I will save that for another post. His blood pressure was really low - 102/56 as opposed to the normal for him - 135/75. They also tested his hemoglobin which was down to 9. Now, for me, a 9 is pretty good. But, on Monday before the colonoscopy, Jason's hemoglobin was over 16. Quite a drop. Also, his potassium was very low. Around 4:30 am we were told that he was being admitted. Just after 6 am, they finally found him a bed upstairs and he was moved to a room. Around 8:30, the gastroenterologist who performed the colonoscopy came in and told Jason they would perform another colonoscopy the next morning.

Holy Saturday was spent in the hospital, with wonderful friends and family coming to visit and sending their well wishes. At 8 am on Easter Sunday, Jason went in for his colonoscopy. The doctor found that two sites where polyps were removed had not healed correctly and were causing all the bleeding. He "clipped" them and told Jason that after eating some lunch he would be free to go home. Of course, we missed all the masses but we had good friends bring us communion.

It was a Holy Week that we will never forget. I certainly have a new understanding of Christ's suffering and the fear and anxiety his disciples must have felt. I also have a new appreciation for sitting up and staying awake for someone when you are purely exhausted. Jason is feeling much better with no ill after effects and I am almost caught up on my sleep. Many thanks to all who offered prayers, helped with kids, and supported us through this most difficult weekend. God bless you all.

Good Friday Fasting

2010-04-02T15:43:00.000-07:00

Darian, in an attempt to educate his siblings, decided that they should all try fasting today. This did not go over very well. The little ones lasted until the first snack time. Sophia lasted longer, but she finally caved.

Sophia : I'm hungry.

Darian : Well, today is Good Friday, the day Jesus died on the cross. Don't you think Jesus was hungry, too? Don't you think you can wait until dinner? Jesus never got dinner on Good Friday.

Sophia : I think Jesus loves me enough that he wouldn't want me to be hungry.

I love the logic of a six year old!

Relieved

2010-03-29T17:17:00.001-07:00

and completely frustrated. Jason had his colonoscopy this morning and the results were very good. A few benign polyps and everything else looks perfectly healthy. The gastroenterologist told Jason there probably isn't really anything wrong and he should eat a high fiber diet. When we got home, I called and left a message for Jason's "regular" doctor. When he (actually, his nurse) finally called back it was to tell Jason to eat a high protein diet and see him in three weeks.

Seriously??? Why do these freakin' doctors seem to not care about the fact that my husband has lost just under 40 pounds since the beginning of February? Why do they not seem to listen when he explains all his symptoms - loss of appetite, difficulty eating, fatigue and malaise?

We are both annoyed and I will be finding him another doctor first thing tomorrow. Then, we will just have to see how it goes. Talk about a lesson in patience!

Health update

2010-03-23T15:47:00.001-07:00

We heard back from Jason's doctor today with the results of the CT scan.

According to the radiologist there is a "thickening of the wall." Jason's next step is to be scheduled for a colonoscopy- FUN! His doctor told us that this could mean many things - something as minor as colitis or something as major as cancer. We will know more after the colonoscopy.

Again, we are just playing the praying and waiting game.

Busy, busy, busy

2010-03-18T16:21:00.000-07:00

As I anxiously await the results of Jason's CT scan, I am attempting to keep busy. My project today - my front yard.

Our front yard has been a pathetic mess for quite awhile now. Twice now, we have attempted to grow grass and failed. Today began attempt number three. Starting at 8 am I was in the yard, raking up dead leaves, dead grass and growing weeds. Since our front yard is about 1000 square feet this was no small job, especially with my RA problems earlier in the week. But, after many many hours of raking and turning the soil, I was able to put seed down. Jason had bought this "all in one" grass seed that included seed, mulch, and fertilizer, and I ended up covered in green dust - pretty gross!

But, in the end, I am quite satisfied with not only a job done but a sufficient distraction. Hopefully, we can keep the grass alive this time!

My arthritis rears its ugly head again

2010-03-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

I have spent the last month feeling pretty good. I have been (almost) able to pretend that I don't have rheumatoid arthritis. We took the kids to Disneyland and, other than not being able to push the stroller, I did really well. We also bought a treadmill since I am very aware that I need to exercise and the only exercise I can really do is walking. I can't walk around the neighborhood because I can't push the stroller and the only times I would be able to walk would involve having at least one little one with me. So, I have been walking the treadmill 3-4 times a week and feeling pretty good about it.

But, feeling good has come to an (hopefully temporary) end. Saturday afternoon I started to have some minor aches and pains that I tried to ignore. I know better than to ignore my pain. I keep telling myself, reminding myself, that at the earliest onset of those aches I need to start my prednisone to help control the swelling and pain. But, since I don't listen to myself, I ignored it and by Sunday morning I could barely get out of bed. My knees were so stiff and painful that I hobbled around using my cane all day. Using my cane means that by the end of the day my wrists and elbows were also bothering me.

But, I started my medicine and I am moving a little better today. Better, but not great. Which means that I can look forward to getting majorly behind on my laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and other housework.

Enough complaining! I will do my best to post something good and upbeat next time. Hopefully.

Please, not again

2010-03-11T12:04:00.000-08:00

I received some sad news this morning. Another friend (this is now #4) has been diagnosed with cancer. Not breast this time, but colon. She has asked that this not be announced yet, and since many of my readers know her, I will be very vague on details so as to protect her privacy.

I am not especially close to her, but we are friendly and have chatted quite a few times at school drop off or pick up. She is a strong, energetic woman who has suffered some major losses over the years. I learned of her diagnosis mostly by accident, and since then I find myself returning to the same question for the fourth time now - WHY???

I will be honest - I am asking a little more vehemently now. Four moms in our close community diagnosed with cancer in the last 4 months? How can this be? I know, I have faith, that the Lord has a plan and I know that He will be along side them during these tribulations. But, honestly, that doesn't stop me from being angry and frustrated. I know these are normal feelings during the process of grieving, and I am grieving - not loss, but the pain and suffering that she and her family will have to endure. Please pray for them. I know the Lord will give them strength, but it never hurts to ask for more.

Baffled

2010-03-05T10:08:00.000-08:00

I am sure that Jason will post more later, but since I am home at the computer I will post a little something for those of you keeping up on Jason's health stuff.

As most of you know, Jason has been losing tons of weight for no reason. He had blood work done and he had a doctor visit this morning to discuss the results. His doctor is completely baffled. There appears to be nothing wrong. All of his bloodwork came back normal. He appears to be perfectly healthy, aside from the fact that he lost another 8 pounds in 10 days. So, from here he is having a few more tests run and he will be scheduled for an abdominal CAT scan to see if they can find out what is going on.

In the meantime, apparently, we just keep waiting and praying.

Just not cool

2010-03-04T16:13:00.000-08:00

This morning I was driving with Sebastian and Vibiana, listening to the soundtrack for Jesus Christ Superstar. Vibiana was thoroughly enjoying the music, trying to sing along and dance in her car seat. Sebastian, however, was oddly quiet. I asked him if he liked the music.

"No," he said tersely.

"Oh," I said. "Why not?"

"Because, I only like cool music."

I thought this attitude wouldn't show up until the teenage years, but apparently I was mistaken.

Percy Jackson and Protestantism

2010-03-02T21:32:00.001-08:00

Darian and I have both thoroughly enjoyed reading the Percy Jackson series. We also went a few weeks ago and saw the movie together. This evening, we were driving home and discussing the merits of movie vs book and Darian had the best insight ever.

Those of you unfamiliar with the stories, Percy Jackson is a young boy who discovers his father is the Greek god Poseidon. The entire series focuses on Percy's role in helping to defeat Poseidon's father Kronos. In the movie, however, Kronos is completely absent.

Darian, in his frustration with the movie, said "How could they leave out the main plot? That's like if you had church but you didn't have the consecration and the body and blood of Christ! That's like, it's like, Protestants!"

Such a little Catholic boy.

McDonald's Missionary

2010-03-01T13:10:00.000-08:00

Sebastian has been sick for a few days now and this morning he was complaining that his ear hurt. I called the doctor to get an appointment and the earliest they had was 11 am. I scheduled the appointment and then had to decide how we were going to kill a few hours in town after dropping the older kids off at school. I decided to fall back on a fairly reliable time killer - the play place at McDonald's.

We drove to the east side because that play place is always empty in the mornings. After we all ate some breakfast, the kids ran off to play and I sat and played some games on my phone. After awhile, a little boy about Sebastian's age came in and started to play. A few minutes later, his mom came in and sat at the table next to me. Now, as a little side note, I have discovered that God often sends people to me who, without any encouragement, will share intimate details of their lives. This happens to me all the time - in the line at the grocery store, in the bank, at the gas station. This morning in McDonald's was no different.

No sooner had this woman sat down than she turned to me and started conversation. I am in no way an extrovert and I am very uncomfortable making conversation with complete strangers (one of God's little jokes, I think) but I always do my best to at least be polite. So, I answered some of her questions about my kids ages, etc and that led to my hearing her entire story.

Jessica has just moved to Lancaster from San Diego. She and her husband and their two children had been living with her mother up until her mother died a year ago. She and her husband were struggling to keep up with the bills and house payments when he lost his job. They then lost the house and were forced to live with her sister - all four of them had a bedroom in her sister's 3 bedroom, 900sq ft house. Her husband had great difficulty finding a job until finally he was offered a job up here in the AV. They had never been up here, have no family here, but they decided that this was their best chance, so they up and moved here a few weeks ago. Once they arrived, her husband found out that he did not get the job they originally promised him but a much lower paying job in the same company. He took the job, feeling there was not another option. Jessica had hoped to get a job somewhere, but her youngest is only four. She is trying to get him into Head Start, but there is a waiting list and any job she could get wouldn't pay for the childcare. But, she said that there have been some good things about moving up here. Her husband, a Jew, has found a synagogue that he really likes. And she, a Catholic, found this great church where everyone is "real nice and welcoming." (Yes - she was talking about Sacred Heart!) She told me that she knows God brought them here to the desert for a reason. She said, "Even though I am so discouraged and scared for what's going to happen, I know God's got my back."

This was a reminder that I was so desperately in need of. I have been really worried about Jason's health and the Internet has been most unhelpful - it helps me find just enough information to have me really worried. In my more sane moments, I know that God is there for us. However, it is all the other moments, the moments when it feels like the worry may eat me alive, that I need to mentally slap myself and remember - God's got my back, no matter what.

Half a cookie of kindness

2010-02-20T08:21:00.001-08:00

I walked into the kitchen this morning to find each of my children eating a chocolate chip cookie.

No sooner had I walked in than Vibiana dropped hers and the dog quickly snatched it up. Of course, there was immediate outcry. Vibiana crying, "Mine cookie!" and Darian and Sophia looking to me to fix the problem. Sebastian, however, broke his cookie in half and, without a word, handed it to Vibiana. The crying immediately ceased and peace reigned. I was a little surprised by this automatic kindness that is too often lacking, not only in our family but in our surrounding community.

On Thursday afternoon I was standing outside Sophia's kindergarten class waiting for the bell to ring. I am not one who normally eavesdrops or pushes myself into other conversations, but in this instance I couldn't resist. These two moms were talking about having seen a homeless person walking down the sidewalk in front of the church. One of the moms said, "I wish Fr. Tom would just tell all those people to stay away. We don't want them here." She then went on to describe this "disgusting" man who actually went to mass on Sunday. As she was describing him, I realized who she was talking about.

I broke into the conversation -"Oh, you mean my friend Michael!"

The moms both looked confused and one said, "No, this isn't a friend of yours. I'm talking about this dirty man who hangs out here at the church."

"Yes," I said,"that is Michael. He is one of the most devout, holy people I know. You should try talking to him instead of judging him next time."

With that, I walked away, furious. Yes, Michael can be dirty and he carries most of his belongings in his backpack. He is mentally disabled and suffers from severe epilepsy. He is also one of the most wonderful people I know. He is sweet, innocent, caring, loving, prayerful, and truly devout. When I see Michael, and especially when I see/hear others being unkind to him, I am reminded of the song "My Jesus" by Todd Agnew.

"Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despised the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd"

A great song , one that serves as a reminder to me. A reminder of not only what my Lord endured for me, but what he called me to do. I am bound by my commitment to the Gospel to treat others with love and kindness. This is almost never easy for me, which is evident in my handling of the situation with the two kindergarten moms. I know that I could have handled it better, spoken more kindly. But, I am not perfect and all I can do is continue to strive do my best and remember to break my cookie in half for those who need it.

Check this out

2010-02-14T16:37:00.000-08:00

My dear husband has started blogging!! Check him out here - iubilatio.blogspot.com . He also has his incredible conversion story here. If you have never heard his story, I highly recommend reading it.

Incomplete

2010-02-09T10:09:00.001-08:00

The bathroom is not yet finished. How is it that one (fairly) simple project could turn into so much work?

The bathroom is painted. I also pulled up all of the old floor. However, when I got the old floor up, I discovered a lot more moisture under there than I had anticipated. Once I got the floor up and cleaned, I left it for a few hours to dry out. When I returned, there was a puddle of water around the base of the toilet. Yikes! Well, thinking I knew my limits, I left the toilet leakage for Jason to fix. I proceeded to at least put up the towel rods, toilet paper holder, etc. Turns out, having arthritic hands is not conducive to either using a drill or trying to screw in screws. Who knew?

Well, Jason got home safely and spent Saturday removing/repairing the toilet. Not a fun job, but replacing the wax ring seemed to fix that problem. Then, before I could start laying the new floor, I discovered yet another toilet leak. This time, water is leaking from the hose that leads from the pipe in the wall to the tank. Jason claims this is an easy fix, but he has yet to find the time to get in there and fix it.

As if all that wasn't enough, Darian took a shower last night and now the bathtub faucet is leaking really bad - the faucet was not on my refurbishing list! The leak is bad enough that a two quart pitcher is being filled every few hours. Again, Jason says that he can fix it but I am not sure when he is going to have time. He tends to not get home until later in the evenings and this Saturday we have Diaconate Formation.

Maybe I just need to call a plumber.

Happy Feast of St. Agatha

2010-02-05T18:16:00.000-08:00

Today, we celebrate the feast of St. Agatha, martyr, patron saint of breast cancer.

St. Agatha, please pray for all women suffering this horrible disease, especially Suzanne, Dawn, and Ana. May these women experience the love and healing power of our Lord. Amen.

I must have lost my mind

2010-02-03T10:43:00.001-08:00

In the midst of another crazy week in the Schalow home, I have decided to overhaul the kids' bathroom.

Why, oh why, did I think this would be a good idea??? On top of the "regular" craziness, Jason is out of town all week and I am still fighting a cough/cold that has been hanging on for weeks. I now have all the bathroom redecorating supplies (paint, light fixture, towel rods, accessories, and flooring) sitting in my entryway. I took the old light fixture down and I need to paint before I put the new one up. Painting I can do - but lighting? How in the world did I convince myself to mess with electrical stuff???

Here's hoping I don't electrocute myself or set the house on fire...

Roma - the finale

2010-01-27T11:22:00.000-08:00

What a slacker I am! It has been forever since I posted, and I just realized I never finished posting about our trip to Rome. So, here it is, the finale!

Rome day 5:

Our last day, our last chance to cram everything in that we hadn't managed to do yet. Plus, New Year's Day, so a lot of things are closed. And, of course, it is raining again.

We were up fairly early and caught the metro to the main station to catch a bus out to St. Lawrence. This church was on our "must see" list, but because it was towards the outskirts of town, we had difficulty finding our way out there. But, finally, we found the right bus and somehow managed to get off at the right stop. Not an easy feat because on Roman buses, they do not announce what stop they are coming to. They also don't stop at every stop if there isn't someone obviously waiting near the sign, so you have to press the button to get off well ahead of your stop. Total luck that we hit the right stop.

St. Lawrence

St. Lawrence was a very unassuming church. The draw for us was the relics it contains. Inside are the remains of St. Lawrence and St. Stephen. St. Stephen was the first martyr as well as one of the "original" deacons. St. Lawrence was a deacon during the Valerian persecution. When ordered to present the treasure of the Church to the emperor, he presented the poor and crippled, claiming they were the true treasure of the Church. He was then sentenced to death by gridiron. The story goes that when he was on the iron he called out, "This side’s done, turn me over and have a bite." Gotta love a sarcastic saint!

After St. Lawrence, we headed back towards the area we needed to be in to visit St. Agatha's, another must see on our list. At this point, I was seriously concerned that I was going to miss St. Agatha because we knew they were closing at noon, and from the metro stop we had quite a hike to get there. Somehow, we made it and it was worth all the effort. A beautiful church, very quiet and unobtrusive. Plus, as I mentioned before, St. Agatha is the patron saint of breast cancer, so it was extremely important for me to pray there, in her church.

St. Agata di Goti

St. Agatha having her breasts cut off during her martyrdom

After St. Agatha, we returned to the garden we found a few days earlier.

Ground level, with stairs leading to second level

Second level, with stairs leading to third level

Top level, complete with walking paths, orange trees, statuary and fountains

After this, we were getting hungry, so we walked around trying to find some lunch. It is a little frustrating to be on an American eating schedule (lunch mid-afternoon) in a country where most restaurants are closed when you are hungriest! Eventually, we found a cafe to eat in and after a leisurely lunch, continued to simply wander around Rome. We walked up Via Nazionale until we reached the Republica area. A beautiful fountain in the center of a very busy roundabout. I can't believe I was able to get a picture with no cars!

Republica piazza with Basilica in the background

While here, we visited the Basilica dei Santa Maria degli Angeli e dei Martin (Mary of the Angels and Martyrs). Another beautiful church, this one built in the Baths of Diocletian. One of the very cool things about this church is that it has a meridian line. Similar to the Mayan temples in Mexico, a ray of light shines through a hole in the ceiling to a marker on the floor that determines Easter and verified the validity of the Gregorian calendar. We didn't get to see it "working" since it was overcast and raining, but very cool nonetheless.

After a bit more wandering, we headed back to the hotel for a break. Later, we were off to the Piazza Navona (in the rain) where they were having a New Year's carnival. We ended up eating gelato (yes, in the rain) and these yummy donuts that were the size of dinner plates. We walked over near the Pantheon and found a great little restaurant for dinner, then back to the hotel to rest for a few hours. Up at 3 am to leave for the airport!

Overall, Rome was an incredible experience. A few oddities here and there (no toilet seats in some public restrooms) took some adjusting and the weather was less than perfect. In the end, a trip that we both look forward to making again in a few years, hopefully with all the kids once they are a little older and can appreciate everything.

Roma (part 4)

2010-01-12T14:07:00.000-08:00

New Year's Eve! In Rome!! This was a pretty busy day for us.

Day 4:
Got up fairly early (in time for breakfast at the hotel) and caught the subway to the bus that would take us to the outskirts of Rome towards the catacombs. We had discussed taking a particular bus that would drop us right at the Catacombs of St. Sebastian, but somehow we ended up on another bus that dropped us at one end of the Appian Way and we had to walk about 1/2 mile to the catacombs. This turned out to be great because it was a beautiful walk.

Standing at the bus stop, looking towards the direction we needed to walk

Ruins along the Appian Way

Ancient tollbooth on Appian Way

The Appian Way is a few thousand years old - in pretty good condition (the sidewalks are original!)

After a lovely stroll, we finally reached St. Sebastian. We walked in to discover that mass had just begun - in English! Not just English, but American! We had come upon a tour group having mass said and so we just snuck into the back pew and were able to attend mass there in St. Sebastian. After mass, we joined a tour of the catacombs. This was really interesting, but fast. I wish we had been allowed more time to see things down there. Very cool, though - not only is St. Sebastian here, but they also have pieces of the original arrows used to try to kill him.

Exterior of San Sebastiano

St. Sebastian

Close-up of St. Sebastian

After the catacombs, we walked around the area (beautiful countryside) before jumping on the bus to head back towards the city. Once back in the city, we hopped off the bus to visit St. John Lateran. A beautiful church, but very touristy.

St. John Lateran

After John Lateran, we walked a few blocks to visit Santa Croce in Gerusalemme. This was a quiet church, off the beaten path. The chapel is part of the Sessorian Palace, owned by St. Helen (Constantine's mother). This church houses relics of the true cross, a fragment of the Titulus Crucis, as well as a full size replica of the Shroud of Turin. An incredible church that doesn't seem to be visited as often as the relics it contains deserve.

Santa Croce in Gerusalemme

All this, and our day wasn't nearly done. We headed back to the hotel to put our feet up for awhile, then headed off to the Borghese Gallery. No pictures allowed, so I didn't even take my camera. On the way to the Borghese, we stopped by the crypt of the Capuchin Monks - these are the monks that used bones as decoration. Interesting but creepy! The Borghese gallery was wonderful. I was most impressed by the Bernini marble statues. One of my favorites was Pluto and Proserpina. The incredible detail and the ability to somehow make marble look soft - it blew me away.

After this, our plan was to head over to the Piazza del Popolo for the big New Years celebration. Instead, we headed back to the hotel because it was starting to rain and we needed our umbrella. So, a few more subway rides, and we finally arrived at the Piazza to find that it was pouring rain and nothing was going on. We wandered around, discovered the Spanish Steps, and finally found a little restaurant that wasn't completely overcrowded for dinner. We had a wonderful meal in this little, family run restaurant. At midnight, there was much celebration and free champagne for everyone in the restaurant. After we left, we discovered that the rain had stopped and thousands and thousands of people had come out into the piazzas to celebrate. Vendors were selling small bottles of champagne, people were throwing firecrackers and empty champagne bottles into the middle of the piazzas. The police were present, even if only to watch the revelry. In the end, definitely a unique experience.

Roma (part 3)

2010-01-11T21:30:00.000-08:00

O.K. So, it has only been a few days since I posted part 2, and here I am getting ready for Part 3. I am quite proud of myself! (Sorry Stephanie, no pictures with this post. Next post, I promise!)

Day 3:
After the long day at Assisi, we slept super late on Wednesday and decided to just walk around Rome. We had a list of churches we really wanted to see and we decided we would just do our best to see what we could. On top of the list were St. Mary Major and St. Agata di Goti. The trip to St. Agata was important to me because St. Agata is the patron saint of breast cancer and I currently have two friends battling breast cancer. This was a fairly rainy, drizzly day and since we were going to be walking all day, I opted to not bring my camera.

We first visited St Mary Major since it is very near the main subway station. Once we exited the subway, we followed our handy little map to find the church. When we came upon it, we thought it was closed - there were fences up around it, and no one was going in or out. Fortunately, we wandered around and discovered that we had actually come upon the back of the church! Once we found the front doors, we were able to go in and enjoy this beautiful church.

After St Mary's we were headed off to St. Agata. It looked fairly simple according to our map, but ended up not being as easy as we thought. By the time we found it, the doors were locked - they were closed for the midday break. I was quite disappointed, but in our wanderings trying to find the church, we stumbled upon this garden/park area that is built on top of some ancient ruins. Tons of orange trees as well as one of the ancient drinking fountains you find scattered throughout the city.

From here, we walked around the ruins of the Forum and near the Imperial Palace. We wanted to visit Mamertine prison (where Peter and Paul were held) but it was closed for repairs. Instead, after a great meal, we headed over to St. Peter in Chains which contains the chains used on St. Peter. Pretty cool. From there, we headed back to the hotel to get ready for the opera. We had tickets for La Traviata that evening. The opera house itself was beautiful and the performance was great. We saw La Traviata back in June at the LA Opera, so it was interesting to see the Roman Opera version. Both were great.

Roma (part 2)

2010-01-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

Sorry, sorry, sorry. I know it has been many days since I posted part 1 of our Rome adventure. Well, here comes part 2! Hopefully part 3 won't be too far behind.

Day 2: AssisiThis is the view from the Basilica of St. Francis, looking down on the valley. Obviously, it was quite misty that day. We actually had a light rain/heavy mist the entire day.

Assisi was incredible. After a two hour train ride from Rome, we arrived at the Assisi train station, which is actually a few miles from the base of the mountain that Assisi is on. Rather than catching the bus up the mountain, we first opted to visit the Portiuncula (the small church that St. Francis rebuilt.) The church itself is tiny and has an entire Basilica built around it. Inside the Basilica is also the room where St. Francis died, a museum and, this time of year, creche displays from all over the world.

The Basilica of Santa Maria degli Angeli, housing the Portiuncula

We then progressed up the mountain via bus to visit Assisi. The town of Assisi is built into the side of Mount Subiaso. There are many different levels to the town and it seems like every major church we wanted to see was on different levels. This was a really exhausting day and I swear we climbed up and down the mountain too many times! In the end, totally worth it. Our first stop was the Basilica of St. Francis.

Our first view of the Basilica

Inside the Basilica are both upper and lower churches. Both have beautiful artwork (I didn't take any pictures inside - I am weird about taking pictures inside churches) but definitely the highlight was visiting St. Francis' crypt. Also, viewing his belongings - his robe, shoes, breviary. It was an amazing thing to see these things, knowing that St. Francis used them. Incredible.

The Basilica of St Francis

After this, we wandered Assisi for awhile. We were actually looking for somewhere to eat, but many things were either closed or way to expensive. Also, we didn't have a good map of the town, so we ended up sort of lost (although I know Jason won't admit that we were lost.) After eating and more wandering, we came upon the Cathedral of Assisi, the parish church of both Francis and Clare and the place where both were baptized. They actually still have the baptismal font from Francis and Clare.

Cathedral of Assisi, dedicated to San Rufino

After more wandering up and down hills, we visited the Basilica of St. Clare. St. Clare's had a number of very cool things - the top two being St. Clare herself (incorrupt) and THE cross of San Damiano. I wasn't able to get any pictures at this point since it was starting to rain quite a bit and it was getting dark. But, we thought of Sophia when we saw the outside of the church - it has pink stripes! We attempted to make it over to the church of San Damiano, but it was closed by the time we hiked our way over there. Next time.

After a long day of hiking, we took the bus back down the mountain with plans to have dinner near the train station before heading back to Rome. However, there were no restaurants open for dinner at 6:30 in the evening. We walked all over trying to find something, with no luck. Sadly, we ended up eating at a McDonalds before getting on the train. Not exactly how I planned on eating while in Italy.

So, though the day was long, it was a great experience. The architecture, the artwork, the relics- it was worth the sore feet! Next time, we will plan on staying overnight in Assisi and hopefully be able to break up some of the mountain climbing!

Roma! (part 1)

2010-01-05T11:50:00.000-08:00

Rome was a wonderful, incredible experience. An overwhelming city, a city where five days of exploring was nowhere near enough time. I think the easiest way for me to share the experience is to break our adventures up by day.

Day 1: Tour of Vatican gardens in the morning and museums, Necropolis tour in the afternoon. The tour of the gardens was great - a small group of 15 people led through the "back lot" of the Vatican. This took us through areas not open to the general public - gardens, Lourdes Grotto, Vatican Radio and various residences. After the garden tour, we went through the paintings gallery. There was so much beautiful artwork, I wish we had more time to just enjoy it. After the paintings, we proceeded over to the main Vatican Museum. Honestly, I was a tad disappointed. It was so crowded that we weren't able to really see/enjoy much. After the museum, off to the Sistine Chapel. Tons of people crowded into a small chapel, all craning their necks to inspect the ceiling. Again, beautiful artwork with incredible attention to detail. I tend to feel claustrophobic in large crowds, so I wasn't able to enjoy it as much as I hoped. But, maybe someday when Darian is Pope, he will be able to let us sit and inspect it more carefully :)

After all this, we had our reservations for the Necropolis tour. By far, one of the coolest things we did. A small group of about 12 people taken on a tour through the archaeological areas of St. Peter's. The finale of the tour - viewing St. Peter's bones. I can't even explain the awe and wonder at being able to do this. Definitely one of the highlights of the whole trip.

Sadly, I didn't get many pictures on day 1. Because many of the areas we were in didn't allow photographs, we both decided it was easier to leave the camera in the hotel rather than take it in the morning and try to get back to the hotel to leave it in the afternoon. Don't worry, I took plenty of pictures other days!

Is it really a lie?

2009-12-21T07:56:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was out running errands and I ran into a friend of mine. We greeted each other and she asked how I was doing. I responded with "Just fine." She then told me not to lie to her. She said she could tell my arthritis was bothering me by the way I was walking. Now, she said this very kindly and with the best of intentions, but it has since been weighing on my mind...was I really lying?

If I was, it was certainly without intention. I don't like complaining to people, even my good friends. I also don't like to dwell on the fact that I hurt. Yes, a lot of the time, I hurt. My arthritis bothers me in some fashion on a daily basis. Usually, nothing major, just a little ache here and there. But, if I dwelt on my pain every day, I don't know that I could even get out of bed. And honestly, I do consider it a good day when I can get out and run errands. I know that a day may come, when even simply running to the store on my own will be impossible.

So, if I said I was just fine, for that moment I really was fine - not great, not wonderful, but fine.

My daughter is freaking me out

2009-12-10T20:04:00.000-08:00

Vibiana is just too smart. She is beginning to make me a little nervous! Let me give a few examples...

1. She is potty training herself. One morning a couple of weeks ago, I had just taken her diaper off and she told me she needed to go potty. I took her and she actually went! This took me completely by surprise as I had not encouraged potty training yet at all. This has continued, much to my delight. However, the biggest drawback is that she is much more ready mentally than she is physically. She tends to get very frustrated when she goes in her pull-up because she doesn't want it there!

2. She can sort things. The package of pull-ups that we buy her have two different pictures of Dora on them and Vibiana really likes one of the pictures. So, what she decided to do, was take all the pull-ups out of the package and sort them into two piles, depending on which picture was on the pull-up.

3. She counts really, really well. For awhile, she has been able to count to three, but them she would jump to thirty-nine. Over the last week, however, she can correctly and consistently count to seven. Not just counting, but counting objects! Her favorite things to count are pennies. I had a number of pennies laid out in my hand, and she was able to count them while picking them out of my hand and laying them in a line. After seven, she sometimes goes to eight, but she also sometimes skips to ten or eleven, but up to seven she is spot on.

Did I mention she's only two??!!
She will probably be taking over the world by the time she is 10. Consider yourselves warned.

Harry Potter on a Sunday morning

2009-12-06T07:29:00.000-08:00

I know that there is a small faction Catholic families that frown upon the Harry Potter series. My family is not one of them. We are currently working our way through the entire series on audiobook. We listen every time we are driving together (which is a lot!) and we are currently about a third of the way through Order of the Phoenix.

That, in combination with a Harry Potter marathon on TV this weekend, results in my kids being completely immersed in "magic" right now. So, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised by whispered shouts of "Expecto Patronum" and "Stupify" this morning. Darian was trying to teach Vibiana to say "Expelliarmus", but it kept coming out "Yamus". Perhaps the best part was Darian saying "Imperio" and then telling Sophia that now she had to do whatever he told her. Sophia's response was "Yeah right, Darian! I don't have to do anything you tell me!"

I was actually pleasantly surprised by how much Sophia and Sebastian seem to have picked up by just listening to the audiobooks. Some of the "situations" they were in this morning were straight out of the books (not the movies) and they were able to play along really well without Darian directing them.

So, while some may frown upon my kids using "spells" before getting ready for mass on a Sunday morning, this mom was quite pleased with her four children playing a game together. It is not often that they play together for so long (nearly an hour) without fighting and crying. One of my greatest joys is watching (or, in this case, listening) to my children having fun with each other.

Usually, my Sunday mornings start with trying not to yell at someone that they need to find their dress shoes or attempting to stay calm when we realize Sebastian doesn't have any pants to wear to mass. I am so pleased to have this Sunday morning start with such a tangible affirmation of the beauty and joy of family life. Of course, this may not last as I now have to actually get out of bed and start getting everyone ready to go. Oh, well. It was nice while it lasted.

As if I didn't have enough crappy news

2009-11-19T11:38:00.000-08:00

I was really hoping for some good news when I went to see my rheumatologist, but I didn't get any.

As most of you know, I have rheumatoid arthritis and I have been struggling with it for about a year and a half now. I have been on various different medications, trying different doses to find what works. I have finally reached a point where I feel that the medications are working and I have been feeling better and more capable of doing "normal" things. But, after I had some blood work done, it turns out I am not doing as well as I had hoped.

First, my CBC showed a high platelet count. According to my doctor, this is an indication that I continue to have inflammation which is not being controlled by my medication. Normally, he said, at this point we would probably try to change my medication up to the "next step". However, looking at the rest of my blood test results, we can't do that because the other test that came back high was my ALT (liver function). So, my liver is not responding well to my medication and my ALT more than doubled from my last test a few months ago.

So, what this means for me is that I will actually have to cut my current medication in half. We will have to try to manage pain with pain medications and try to control inflammation with prednisone (which I hate taking!). After two months of that, I will do blood work again, and if the test is o.k. then we can start slowly increasing my medications every couple of months back up to where I am now. Basically, my doctor told me that I am looking at 6 months of trying to deal with the pain and discomfort I thought I was done with.

On the bright side, I talked him into waiting until January to change my meds. Jason and I are going to Rome the week after Christmas and I did not want to have my vacation ruined. At this point, this may be my last chance to take a trip like this.

So, just for future reference, anyone willing to donate half of their liver to me???

How do you explain the unexplainable?

2009-11-17T20:01:00.000-08:00

My friend Suzanne has breast cancer. She is one of the most incredible women that I know and this has been a huge blow to me and all of her friends. One of the most difficult things for me to deal with has been explaining it to Darian.

Darian adores "Mrs. D". He once told me that if he could live with any of his friends, it would be with Sam, mostly because "Mrs. Di Silvestri is, like, one of the greatest moms ever." Darian knows that we have been praying for her health, but last night he happened to read over my shoulder while I was reading Suzanne's blog regarding the diagnosis of breast cancer. He asked me about it, we talked a bit, and he simply said, "We just have to keep praying."

Then, about fifteen minutes after he went to bed, he came out of his room, sobbing. I asked what was wrong and he said, "I'm so scared for Sam's mom." I held him for awhile and we both cried together. After a few minutes, he looked up at me and asked, "Mom, why did God let Mrs. D get cancer?"

That, my son, is the million dollar question. I wish I had an answer. I know that God has a plan for all of us and I know that we won't always understand those plans. I know that our God is a God of love, and whatever the outcome, it will be for the greater good. But, knowing these things in my head and knowing them in my heart are two different things. So, for the moment, my most honest response is simply, I don't know.

Rite of Candidacy

2009-11-08T07:03:00.001-08:00

Yesterday, Jason received his Rite of Candidacy, the first milestone towards the Diaconate. It was a nice ceremony with Bishop Wilkerson presiding. I felt...left out.

From the beginning of this whole process, the diaconate office has stressed to us the importance of the wives participation. We are required to attend class, participate, and do homework. It has been stressed to us that this journey is a journey we make together, as a couple. If I had not given my o.k., Jason would not even be allowed in the program. So why, then, were the wives excluded from this important milestone?

Don't get me wrong. I am not asking for ordination or even my own "rite". I just think it would have been nice to at least have been able to stand up there next to my husband when he confirmed his commitment to this calling. Would it really have changed anything, liturgically speaking, if I had stood behind him with my hand on his shoulder?

He is called to this ministry, but I am called to be his wife and support him throughout the journey. I think what bothers me most is just the inconsistency from the diaconate office. Support your husband, attend your classes, do your homework, but don't expect any recognition or appreciation.

All my b*tchiness aside, it really was a nice ceremony and I really appreciated that not only did our mentor couple (Deacon John and Diane) attend, but so did our pastor and our pastoral intern. I did feel support and appreciation from them. Plus, much to my embarrassment, at the end of mass this morning, the priest and Deacon John called our entire family up for a special blessing and we processed out with them.

I am certainly not leaving the program, nor am I going to start picketing in front of churches to demand female ordination. I know that the permanent diaconate is a new concept for the Church, and I am confident that this Church that I love and believe in will, in time, find the "happy medium" needed to truly support the Diaconate Families.

Prayer Requests

2009-11-06T07:39:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was a big day for prayer requests, so I have decided to pass them on in the hopes of generating more prayers for some lovely people.

In the morning, upon visiting with a friend, I learned that her sister-in-law was recently diagnosed with uterine cancer. A hysterectomy was performed, but they discovered that the cancer had already spread to her liver. My friend's children are having a difficult time dealing with the illness of a much beloved aunt.

After this visit, we went (with my two youngest) to visit at one of the local convalescent homes. We visit twice a month and say a rosary and just pray and talk. At our last visit, one of our "regulars" thanked me for bringing my young children. She said sometimes people bring older children, but they never get to see little ones. Just their presence brought her joy. Many of the residents are scared and lonely. Please pray for their comfort and peace of mind.

Lastly, and very close to my heart, I have a very good friend who discovered a lump in her breast. Though the lump was discovered a while back, her doctor originally brushed it off because she was breastfeeding and told her it was probably a lactation issue. She weaned the baby and continued to have problems. She went in for an ultrasound and was told that the mass was architecturally abnormal with uneven edges (I think that's right). This is a dedicated mother to her many children, ages ranging from 11 to 11 months. Please, fervent prayers for this incredible woman.

My name is Briana and I am an addict

2009-11-04T12:50:00.000-08:00

For those of you who don't know, I am a book addict. My family can attest to this. I am never without a book to read. At every possible moment, I am reading. I go back and forth between reading "fluff" (anything Nora Roberts, Twilight, James Patterson) and reading "religious" books. To be honest, I usually prefer the fluff simply because reading is my escape. With books, I can go anywhere and be anything. I have made an effort to read Christian Fiction, but I found most of it to be, well, crap. Most of it was way too Protestant for my Catholic soul. Until now, the only decent Catholic fiction I had found was Michael O'Brien and his Father Elijah series. Then, I discovered the "new" Anne Rice.

I have been a fan of Anne Rice for many years. I thoroughly enjoyed her vampire books as well as some of her novels. What I didn't realize was that she had a major "reversion" to her Catholic faith a few years ago and has now dedicated all of her writing to God. Her first series is "Christ the Lord". The first book, "Out of Egypt", is a story from the perspective of a seven year old Jesus and his family's return to the Holy Land after their self-imposed Egyptian exile. One thing I have always enjoyed from Anne Rice is her historical accuracy. She always thoroughly researches her time periods and is able to truly place you there. This book was no exception. We travel with this young child, through the political upheaval after the death of Herod, from the temple in Jerusalem to the tiny village of Nazareth. We see the struggles of a young child, trying to understand who he is.

The second in the series, "Road to Cana", begins with a 30ish Jesus, just before he begins his ministry. Here we have a man, knowing his divinity, and not sure what to do with it. Anne Rice does a fabulous job of presenting a very human Jesus, while never ignoring his divinity. Not an easy task! In Diaconate Formation this year, we are immersed in the New Testament. While reading all the textbooks has been interesting, I think Anne Rice managed to really bring it all alive. She pulled stories from the Infancy Gospel of Thomas and other apocryphal writings. She studied many respected New Testament authors and theologians. She managed to pull all of that together and give us a fiction story that maintained the Jesus of the Gospels. Extremely well done.

So, if you are an addict like me, or you are just looking for a good read, I highly recommend the "new and improved" Anne Rice. She also has a brand new book out called "Angel Time" that I am hoping to find at Barnes and Noble this week. If any of you have read any of these, let me know what you think!

Vomitrocious

2009-10-26T09:41:00.000-07:00

Last Friday morning, when I went in to wake the kids for school, I found that Sebastian had been sick to his stomach in the middle of the night. Then he fell back asleep, lying in his vomit. My poor boy was covered in dry, crusty, smelly vomit, and I still had to get the older two kids ready for school. I quickly bathed him and managed to get everybody out the door on time. He spent the day a little under the weather, but no fever and no more vomiting. I, of course, spent the day trying to wash dried puke out of his blankets. I was completely unsuccessful and ended up having to go and buy him new blankets and sheets. He was happy, me...not so much.

Around midnight last night, Jason heard Sophia wiggling her door knob, but she didn't come out. He went to check on her and found her standing next to her bedroom door, throwing up. On the wall. She had already thrown up on her bed. Now I know my husband loves me, because he didn't wake me up. He stripped her bed, cleaned the wall, got her cleaned up and back to bed without me knowing about any of it.

This morning, when I went to wake Darian for school, his head popped up from the top bunk and he said he didn't feel good. I asked what was wrong and he says "I just threw up." Great. So, I told him to get off his bed so I could clean it. He said "No, it's o.k. I threw up on the floor." I looked down and, sure enough, I was standing about an inch away from his mess. He apparently felt sick and just leaned over the side of the bunk. Very nice.

Needless to say, I have all the kids home today. Sophia is feeling o.k. - not great, but not sick to her stomach anymore. Darian on the other hand, has a vicious headache and he is still sick to his stomach. And I am working on laundry plus I have to clean the carpet in the boys room. Should be a great day.

Penmanship

2009-10-21T11:14:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Darian brought home his first 3rd grade progress report. Darian is a great student so most of it was the expected 94%-98% range with the exception of Handwriting. His handwriting grade was 81% (a C at his school). Quite frankly, I was shocked. Darian has always had very neat, precise writing. What I had forgotten was that this was third grade - cursive writing had begun.

So, I sat down with Darian and had him write out some words using the handwriting letters he had already learned. He sat, concentrated, and very neatly wrote out my selection of words. I saw nothing wrong with them. Jason and I told him to just keep doing his best and make sure he was taking the time to write neatly. He insisted that he did, and we just reiterated that he should keep trying his best.

Over the next couple of weeks I began keeping very close attention to the "red marks" (teacher corrections) on his handwriting. The pattern I saw was, to me, appalling.

First, Darian's main problem is that he is super structured. His handwriting is so nice and neat - but the letters are straight up and down. His teacher insists that all the letters be at an angle. Well, I worked with Darian for nearly an hour one afternoon, and the boy can't slant his letters for his life. He just cannot do it. Second, he apparently makes the loops on some letters (like d or e) just a smidgen too wide.

Seriously??!! Poor Darian was getting so discouraged. He would bring his homework for me to check, and I would think it looked fine. Then, we would get it back with all the red marks. Finally, Jason and I told him that his handwriting grade was, basically, not important. We told him that as long as he was doing his best he would not be reprimanded from us on a lower grade. After talking with other 3rd grade moms, I was pleased to learn that we are not the only parents who had this talk with their kids. None of the moms that I talked to (nearly half the class) had kids with handwriting grades higher than 84%.

With so much electronic communication these days, does anyone even use handwriting anymore?

The Flu has descended

2009-10-13T08:56:00.000-07:00

Since last Wednesday there has been at least one Schalow sick with the flu. It started with Sophia, spread to Darian, then Vibiana, Jason, and now Sebastian. Fortunately, it is not a stomach flu, just fever and aches. It is hardest with the little ones because they just don't understand what is going on. Plus, they want to snuggle and cuddle with me, and I am super paranoid about getting sick. Every few minutes I am either washing my hands or using my Purell (which is being kept in my pocket!)

To really put a cap on the whole thing, Jason blew the engine on his car. He was driving it the to muffler repair place to fix what he thought was a catalytic converter issue, when he heard a pop and then the car died. We had it towed to our mechanic here in Lake LA and he told us the engine threw a rod. Fortunately, he got a line on a good used engine with only 50,000 miles on it for a great price. So, while we await repairs, Jason is driving a fabulous rental "pimp-mobile" - a powder blue Grand Marquis! Ha! At least that gives me something to smile about!

Yes, that's all

2009-10-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

At mass yesterday, we not only heard about Jonah and his trying to run from what God wanted him to do, but we also heard the story of the Good Samaritan. Our pastoral intern gave an excellent reflection on listening when God calls us. He talked about our need to help others and to think about how Jesus would react to someone asking for help. He ended with, I think, a healthy dose of Catholic guilt to really get everyone to reflect on their own actions.

So, of course, I get to put this into play today. I went grocery shopping and as I was loading up the car, a woman approached me and asked for money. She explained that she was just trying to get a few dollars together to get some food. Now, I had just spent almost $200 on groceries, but that was on my bank card. I hardly ever have cash. So, I begin digging through my purse to see what I can find. With the size of my purse, this is no small task. I know the kids emptied all my change just a few days ago. Finally, triumphantly, I find one lone, crumpled dollar bill. As I pull it out and hand it to her, she looks at it and says,"Is that all?"

Lucky for me, with four kids, I'm used to ingratitude.

My grade school education

2009-09-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

In class on Saturday (Diaconate Formation), we talked about how most Catholics have the equivalent of a grade school education in the Sacred Scriptures. Why? Well, how many Catholics do you know that actually read the bible?

We have begun this great discussion on Scripture. We are learning not only the spiritual aspects, but also the historical aspects of the Scriptures. Some of this may be difficult for some to swallow - "What do you mean Matthew may not have written the Gospel of Matthew??!!", but so fascinating. I am learning so much. For example, never before had I sat and compared Matthew and Mark. They have so many differences! So, the next step is then looking at why they are different. Taking into account authorship, audience, and expectations. Why does Jesus seem so much more frustrated in Mark than in Matthew? Why the "secrecy" throughout Mark?

I feel like this whole new world has opened up for me. I have been through two phases of scriptural study in my life - the first was strictly spiritual and the second was strictly historical. Now, I am learning how important it is to merge the two together. Without either one of those aspects, you cannot fully understand scripture. It's like seeing a pencil sketch of a painting - you get an idea of the beauty, but you don't experience the fullness of beauty without the color.

I am definitely looking forward to spending this year expanding my grade school education!

Poor Kitty

2009-09-17T11:39:00.000-07:00

One of my poor kitties almost got eaten by a dog last night.

Granted, this is the cat that I would not be too upset about if he just up and disappeared one day. He is a jerk. He scratches the kids if they bother him, he pees on my bathroom rugs, and he loves to find my clean clothes and lay on them. He drives me crazy!

But, last night, we heard this horrible yowling. When we followed the sound, we found 3 dogs (not ours) running away. The poor cat came flying inside, hysterical. He was covered in dog saliva and dirt, had bites/scratches on his neck, he was missing some clumps of hair, and he was panting. He was completely freaked out. After awhile he calmed down enough that we were able to make sure he didn't have any serious injury. He is walking a little stiffly, but he seems to be otherwise o.k. He ate, drank water, and is currently hiding.

So, for at least the next few days, he will be my poor kitty instead of that stupid cat.

I am mean!

2009-09-16T18:00:00.000-07:00

I am a mean and unfair mom! At least, that's what Darian told me today. What makes me so mean and unfair?

Well, I actually want him to understand his homework. He had a ton of homework tonight, and he was having problems with his math worksheet. It was a word problem involving money - if you have x number of coins and they are all quarter, dimes, or nickels, what is the greatest/least amount you can have? So, mean old me, I walk him through step by step how to figure out the answer. He got really frustrated and said "Why can't you just tell me?!" When I calmly explained that I wanted him to understand how to do this, his response was ,"(name removed)'s mom will just give him the answer when a problem is taking too long!"

Well son, too bad for you that you have a mom that cares more about your learning than just getting the work done.

I proudly remain,
Mean and Unfair Mom

Breathing and Braces

2009-09-03T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday proved to be even more hectic than I had planned.

First, immediately after school we rushed to the orthodontist. I had spoken to the receptionist earlier and she told me that if I could be there by 3:10 they should be able to take Darian right away. Well, we arrived at 3:10, but she must have told other people the same thing, because the waiting room was completely full and we ended up having to wait half an hour.

In the end, Darian's braces were repaired, but we missed Sophia's doctor appointment for her coughing and wheezing and ended up having to wait in Kaiser's pediatric urgent care - we waited long enough that the kids were able to watch all of Finding Nemo. Too long a wait for four antsy kids.

So, after way too many hours sitting in Kaiser Pediatric urgent care and then the pharmacy, Sophia is finally breathing well again. The doctor said she is definitely asthmatic. He has her doing breathing treatments 3 times a day, as long as we can still smell smoke. He also put her on prednisone to help control the inflammation. Fortunately, she is not too traumatized by the whole thing.

Vibiana, however, does not like the nebulizer at all!

Hopefully, we will be done with having to use it regularly fairly quickly and Sophia won't end up with severe asthma. Please, pray for her!

Anyone have a few hours to spare?

2009-09-02T10:31:00.000-07:00

I sure could use them. These last few days have been super hectic - and it will remain so until Friday.
Yesterday was Sebastian's first day back at preschool. He fought going, but once there he had a great time. I had to pull Darian and Sophia out early to take Darian to the orthodontist for his braces. Once that was done, it was across town to pick up a prescription at Kaiser. Then, pick up Sebastian, go home, straighten up and fix dinner before the babysitter arrived, at which time I left for Back to School Night. Home from Back to School Night to discover Darian had loosened one of his brackets (he only has two - one on each front tooth). And, he forgot to finish his homework.
So, up early this morning so Darian could finish his homework plus extra time getting ready because today is picture day. As the kids are running out the door for the carpool, I realized I forgot to send the envelope/check in for their pictures. Luckily my friend drives the carpool, so she waited while I filled stuff out. Then, another argument with Sebastian about going to school - many tears and screams. Finally, I managed to get him calmed down and excited about going to see his friends. Immediately after picking the kids up from school today I have to take Darian to the orthodontist to get his bracket glued on again, and then again to Kaiser - this time for Sophia. She has been coughing and wheezing like crazy thanks to all the smoke. We used Darian's inhaler on her and she felt much better, but I need to get her in to get her looked at and get her own inhaler. Then, finally, I can come home and relax...and oversee homework, fix dinner, finish laundry...
Oh well. Relaxing is overrated anyway, right?

No, we have not converted to Orthodoxy

2009-08-21T16:33:00.001-07:00

We just really, really like icons. This is our new icon corner. I love that I have this great little corner to say my morning and evening prayers. Now, if I could just find the time to say my morning and evening prayers...

First Day of School

2009-08-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

My 3rd grader and my kindergartner started the new school year today. Darian was so excited to see all his friends - no sooner had we walked in the school gate than he said "Bye, Mom!" and was gone. Sophia was also very excited and had a great first day. The only downside - Darian already has homework in 3 different subjects!! Welcome to 3rd grade.

The newest altar server

2009-08-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

Congratulations are in order for Darian who has become Sacred Heart's newest (and youngest) altar server. He has been going through the training for the last couple of weeks and he served his first mass this evening. He has been so excited and he did a great job. We are super proud of him.

After mass, when Fr. Tom shook his hand and told him he did a great job, Darian said "Now I'm one step closer to being a priest!" God bless you, Darian. We need priests with your love and dedication.

Back to School

2009-08-13T14:58:00.000-07:00

Well. Tuition is paid (at least the first month), school supplies are bought, uniforms are hanging in closets, new school shoes are ready and, most importantly, the kids are excited. It is officially back to school time.

I, for one, am looking forward to the return of the school year. While it can be a hassle - getting everyone ready for the day, packing lunches, doing homework, etc., I am looking forward to having a schedule again. Naptimes can go back to normal, my chores can be done according to my schedule, and most of all, there will be some quiet around the house. While I really do enjoy having the kids home and playing together, they get really loud!! Plus, when they are all home, it doesn't matter what I do, the house is always a mess. An example - this morning, not five minutes after I had vacuumed, Vibiana took a bowl of goldfish into the living room. Darian gave her the bowl of goldfish without asking me if she could have a snack and then he proceeded to tickle her while she was holding the bowl in the middle of the living room. The result - not only did the bowl of goldfish go flying (at which point Sebastian started shouting "Flying Fish!!") but then Vibiana fell to the ground and rolled around, crushing all the goldfish and requiring me to vacuum AGAIN!!

The first day of school cannot come soon enough!

Siblings

2009-08-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

Some days, the kids all play together so well. I love watching them be creative and use their imagination making up games to play together. They all have different strengths - Darian is good at organizing (bossy!) and making sure everyone is included, Sophia loves to be creative and brings her artistic flair to every game, Sebastian is game for anything and Vibiana just loves to be playing with her siblings.

Today was one of those rare days that they opted to keep the television off and just play together. The game today? Restaurant. Sebastian wanted it to be a McDonald's drive-thru, but that was vetoed for a sit-down restaurant. They sat together and came up with a name (The Red Wolf Diner), a menu, seating arrangements and job assignments. Darian raided the pantry to see what to put on the menu, Sophia decorated the menu and picked out table linens, and Sebastian and Vibiana were anxious to be customers so they could eat. Sophia acted as hostess and waitress and Darian was the cook and assistant waiter. Sebastian and Vibiana were the customers and they took the game very seriously, right down to asking me for money to pay the bill!

Even though summertime can be hard with all the kids home (and arguing), on a day like today I am so thankful for the gift of my children. I am also reminded of a beautiful quote from John Paul II - "The best gift you can give your child is another sibling." I treasure my relationship with my siblings and I pray that someday my children will understand the beautiful gift they are to each other.

Camping Success!

2009-08-04T12:09:00.001-07:00

Well, our camping trip was a complete success! Everyone had a wonderful time - even Jason and I after we managed to erect the monstrous tent. The campground was really nice (Mt. San Jacinto State Park - Idyllwild) with flushing toilets and warm showers that we didn't have to pay for. Our campsite was shaded for most of the day, so it stayed nice and cool - low 80's is my guess. Quite a change from our upper 90's, low 100's at home! We didn't do much hiking. My arthritis is mostly under control, but still not up to serious hiking. We explored the campground, played games, explored the town of Idyllwild. Darian had fun participating in the park's Jr. Ranger program.

We got filthy! Vibiana found a tree dripping sap and wiped the sap all over her hands, face, and clothes. And, of course, tree sap does not clean off. At least she managed to not get it in her hair. Overall, we had a great time and the kids are already asking when we can go again.

Preparation

2009-07-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

Here I am, preparing to leave for our camping trip in a few hours - the clothes are still in the dryer, I still need to get ice, I have too much food, and I am really not sure whether or not everything is going to fit in the van. I hate preparing for trips.

Yesterday, I put our brand new tent up. Well, I mostly put it up. It turns out the thing is so huge that it didn't all fit in the living room, even once I moved the couch out of the way. By far, the biggest tent ever!

Jason was supposed to take today off so that he could pack the car, but he ended up having to work this morning. So, that leaves me to finish packing stuff, pack the car, clean the house (I really don't want to come home to a disastrous house, but if I don't have time, the house is not going to get cleaned), and deal with 4 very excited kids. Darian taught Vibiana how to say "camping" and she keeps screaming it at the top of her lungs.

I know we will end up having a great time, I just wish we could be there already!

Little Purple Monster

2009-07-24T15:08:00.000-07:00

When the kids went to the dentist back in June, they each received a packet of tablets to chew after brushing their teeth. These are the tablets that stain the teeth where plaque is present.

I hate these tablets. For the few weeks following the dentist visit, the kids bathroom sink, floor, and even toilet seat cover were stained purple. Clothes got stained, chins got stained, and especially fingers. Finally, I had had enough and I threw them all out. At least, I thought I threw them all out.

Today, Vibiana found some, somewhere. The kids were all watching cartoons, and suddenly Sophia starts screaming, "Vibiana's purple!" Sure enough, her hands, chin and clothes were dark purple. She had purple drool running down her chin, and to my great horror she then rubbed her eyes and hair and smeared them with purple as well. We have now bathed, scrubbed, and soaked. And this is as good as it gets. Sigh.

Somebody call a locksmith!

2009-07-18T17:43:00.000-07:00

About a week ago, Vibiana graduated from her crib to a toddler bed. We got her this very cute little sleigh bed and a silky Dora bedding set. She loves it! She especially loves being able to get out of bed on her own. That is where my problems begin.

We have been having minimal difficulty at bedtime, but naptimes are horrid. She does not want to stay down when she knows Darian and Sophia are still up. Today, she was up and down at least a dozen times. Then, she stopped. We thought she had finally fallen asleep.

After a few minutes we heard her doorknob, but she wasn't opening the door. Then, she started freaking out. She had locked herself in! Now, her doorknob has one of those skinny holes that you have to stick something in to unlock it. So, I find a tool to do the trick, only it wouldn't unlock! I tried and tried and couldn't get it. Finally, I had Darian go outside and he was able to wiggle her bedroom window open just enough to squeeze through. Saved!

I promptly took the doorknob off and turned it around so that the lock is on the outside. When I took the thing apart, little pieces of wood fell out - it seems someone had tried to shove a pencil in the little hole and that is why I couldn't unlock it on my own. At least we didn't have to break the door or the window!

I am so blessed

2009-07-16T20:29:00.000-07:00

I have an incredible child.

This morning, we had some friends over to play - three little boys ages 5, 3, and 2. Before they arrived Darian said to me, "Mom, I am going to take care of everything. You can just hang out and relax." Darian was true to his word - he played, kissed owies, broke up arguments, and generally played babysitter. While I didn't really get to relax, (too much laundry and dirty dishes), I was able to get my "chores" done. I was really proud that he, at eight years old, was ready and willing to step up and take the responsibility of all these little ones.

And it gets even better.

By this evening, I had done about a gazillion loads of laundry and was fairly exhausted. Darian came to me and said, "Mom, I am going to fix dinner tonight." And he did, with minimal help from me. Not only did we have a nice dinner of spaghetti and garlic bread, but then he helped clean up!!

I am not quite sure what got into him today, but I certainly hope it continues!!

Summer flowers

2009-07-10T12:09:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, I have, not a green thumb, but a black one- I can kill just about any plant just by looking at it. I have tried gardening, houseplants, potted plants - none of them survive. So, imagine my surprise when the sunflowers we planted began to grow and thrive!

Then, Darian pointed out that these were the flowers he planted. The empty dirt space next to them is where I planted seeds. Oh well, at least it seems my black thumb was not passed on.

This is my little grasshopper friend - can you spot him? He has been living on these flowers for about two weeks now. Vibiana is a bit terrified of him - she screamed bloody murder the first time she was trying to sniff the flowers and he moved. The rest of the kids love him. Every morning they go out to find him - he is always on the same flower. I am not normally a big fan of bugs, but this poor little guy only has one back leg and I swear he comes out every time we come out to talk to him. Hopefully he doesn't get eaten by birds. I am sure he would make someone a tasty snack!

If you are a fan of Fr. Rohr

2009-06-22T16:58:00.000-07:00

You may just want to skip this post. I am not a fan.

Some brief comments on Fr. Rohr for those who are unfamiliar: Fr. Rohr has become quite the phenomenon. However, after reading from some of his books and listening to a few of his talks, I feel that he is, at best, confused and at worst a complete nut job. Many of Rohr's fundamental opinions and teaching lie outside the realm of orthodox Catholic teaching. For example, in his book "Adam's Return", he teaches that "Incarnation is already redemption," and "you do not need any blood sacrifice to display God's commitment to humanity." Basically, he says that the crucifixion was unnecessary because the Incarnation redeemed us all. So, then I ask you - what kind of God allows his only son to be crucified? But, I mildly digress, as this isn't exactly my current rant...

A few days ago I was subjected to a lecture based on Fr. Rohr's ideas of Christ as Light. Now, there was this comment early on that really irked me - "Fr. Rohr tells us that if we had a video camera running at the moment Jesus came out of the tomb, all we would see was a bright light." What, he was there? This was stated as if it was completely factual, but that was only the beginning.

"Jesus didn’t move from Jesus to the Christ without death and resurrection." - Fr. Rohr
There was much talk of Jesus "becoming" the Christ (Messiah). Ummm, shall I point out Jesus' conversation with Peter (pre-resurrection) when Jesus asks his disciples, "Who do you say I am?" Simon Peter said in reply, "You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God."
Jesus said to him in reply, "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my heavenly Father."
Jesus doesn't correct Peter. He doesn't tell him, that he isn't the Messiah yet. He acknowledges that God has revealed this truth. Maybe Fr. Rohr missed that part of Matthew's Gospel...

I think I probably need to stop now. Rethinking it just annoys me.

Pray for me..I think I am really going to need it over the next few years.

Summertime

2009-06-14T16:30:00.001-07:00

Finally, the end of the school year has arrived.

I hate the last week of school. Every day is a half day (which means I am picking Darian up exactly when Sebastian and Vibiana should be napping), Thursday was the school picnic at the city park which Darian insisted I attend, and Friday was the awards assembly. This all translates to my two toddlers' schedules being completely uprooted for an entire week.

On the up side, no more running back and forth to town every day! Whoo-hoo!

Darian was really excited about his report card- straight A's!! He also received some awards at the school's assembly - recognition for Christian Kindness and Excellence in Religion. I guess those dinner table discussions with his Dad on the theological differences between angels and archangels paid off!

So, summer has officially arrived in the Schalow house. Now I have to figure out what to do with them all summer. I'm sure I will be wishing for school to be back at the first whines of "I'm bored!"

The ultimate insult

2009-06-01T22:27:00.000-07:00

This evening, the kids were all playing happily together in one of the bedrooms. This was, of course, short lived.

Darian came to me, with tears in his eyes, saying, "Sophia is calling me mean names and she won't stop!"

Now, Darian can sometimes be overly sensitive, but we have been having issues with Sophia calling people names. Nothing really bad, just calling someone a "baby" or "stinky", fairly typical little sister type things. I, however, am fairly sensitive to the name calling. I grew up with two older brothers and a younger brother who loved to tease me, so I tend to not tolerate my kids name calling.

With a bit of a sigh, I asked Darian what name she was calling him now.

"Little fish."

Seriously??? This was the traumatic, horrible name she was calling him? I tried, but could not stop my burst of laughter. Now, I have probably traumatized him. Plus, I had a hard time keeping a straight face when I told Sophia to stop calling her brother a "little fish."

It just goes to show you that a little sister can turn anything into an insult.

The descent of the "Terrible Two's"

2009-05-28T20:14:00.000-07:00

Well, I think the "terrible two's" (and three's and four's) have come upon us a little early this time around. Vibiana is barely 18months, but she is definitely exhibiting the atrocious behavior one expects from a toddler. In the last week she has mastered "No!", "Mine!", and, of course, flinging herself to the ground while kicking and screaming when she doesn't get her way.

This evening, she has decided that everything is hers. Everyone's toys, food, drinks, even Sophia's clothes. It might have been amusing, if she hadn't tried to rip a handful of Sophia's hair out fighting over a baby doll or punched Sebastian in the stomach over a light saber.

Her most prized possession is, of course, me. Whenever anyone (even the dog!) comes near me, she quickly runs over to push them away while shouting "Mine mama!!"

I know that there will be a day when I look back at all this and laugh, but that day is not today.

Out of the mouths of babes

2009-05-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

I went grocery shopping this morning with Sebastian and Vibiana. First let me say, I hate having to take the kids grocery shopping, but when you are out of milk, bread and peanut butter, there is really no choice.

I hurried as much as possible, knowing that it was only a small amount of time I had before someone (probably me) broke down and started a tantrum. We got through everything and started for the checkout. Of course, it being Tuesday morning, there were 10 people with full carts, and two checkout stands open. So, we waited, and waited, and waited. Finally, our turn to empty the cart!

Sebastian, of course, has long given up holding onto the cart and is trying to run circles around it, much to Vibiana's delight. As I am bending over to pick stuff up out of the cart, Sebastian runs into me and knocks himself over. He then proceeds to begin wailing, "Mommy, your butt knocked me over!" Vibiana, not to be left out, starts shrieking and yelling, "Butt! Butt! Butt!"

Good times with the Schalow kids!!

The dreaded trip to the dentist

2009-05-18T17:53:00.001-07:00

This morning, my three oldest went to the dentist. I was really dreading this because in the past, we have had numerous cavities (and expenses!). But, today, my prayers were answered!!!
Sebastian - no cavities!
Sophia - no cavities!
Darian - 2 very small cavities that only need a simple filling. This is a huge improvement over the 9 cavities/root canals a few years ago. Also, poor Darian (and my poor checkbook), have been referred to the orthodontist. He has some large teeth, and not quite enough room for them all. We'll see how that goes.
All in all, a huge relief for me (and my checkbook).